feel somewhat inspired to study when after i went for office hours at the I-house cafe i was really drawn by the cosy and comfy atmosphere there.... its a little like FSM cafe, well just that it is a lot less crowded... and there's music too... but eventually i got too distracted by the music that was playing.. maybe it was KOIT 96.5...can't wait for my 2 midterms to be over... cos i hav lotsa things i want to do... i have to go to the history of art dept to see what their R and C classes are like, cos the English R1b classes dun seem as appealing as i thought they will be... then should prob try to find out more stuff abotu EAP if i am really serious about it... and go to the IAS office to see what PEIS coursees they offer next sem......
can't decide what i should do for thanksgiving either.... should i go LA with shiying and melvin or go oregon and portland and seattle road trip with ziyang and dunno who else or stay here and try to study for jap orals and other subjects for the whole weekend and bum..... all of them hav drawbacks and perks so i really can't decide... =( always feel terrible and helpless when i can't decide.... got a nice icq msg from shing who tried cheering me up!! =) really glad that i am going back to sg in 2 months time!!! after 1 year away from home.... but there is this lurking fear in me that i might be so accustomed to life here already that i might actually find it strange back home.

ziyang let me drive his car today and so i drove alone to ranch and the feeling of having a car and being able to go wherever you want to was really pleasant.... haha albeit it wasn't my car. but still felt a little paranoid nonetheless cos after all i haven't driven for near to two months and thus was prone to accidents and stuff. cable guy came this mroning to install the cable box... so yay now we hav 5 HBO channels for and additional $1 per month... and cooked chicken herbal soup this afternoon and i hav such a huge pot of soup i prob hav to eat it for lunch or dinenr tmr as well... did some studying for my econ 182 midterm and though i managed to review a few chapters my progress was painfully slow.... aargh! at this rate i dun tihink i wil be able to finish studying.... but at least i did get a little work done today.. yay!! =) hope tmr will be more productive....oh forgot to add.. shiying called me to ask if i wanted to go out for dinner and though i had to reject her i felt really nice she asked...

feeling isolated once again haha cos i am alone at home and ziyang is prob at the library and wonder where shiyun is... woke up late today for the first time but miraculously i was still just in time for my 8am lecture!! feeling crappy and yet lazy to start on work so i shall cook up a crappy argument on the importance of having different 'types of housemates. (this previous part was written at 945 pm)

Having housemates with different personalities and living habbits is deemed somewhat essential for a fulfilling lifestyle and i shall seek to prove that the benefits accrued from these differences outweigh the possible benefits that similarities may bring about. First, different living habits. Different living habits can maximize the utilities of each individual housemate. For example, you needn't worry about fighting over who to use the toilet first if u and ur housemates wake up at diff times.. well guess this doesn't apply to me since i hav my own toilet... but it still contributes to my argument hhaha.... and if soem like to get up early while others tend to oversleep the early one can wake the lazy/sleepy one up in the morning to get her to go for class, which is highly beneficial to the latter cos lectures are educationally enriching. (this happened to me this morning... what a blessign that shiyun wakes up early and for some weird reason i overslept for the first time this morning but luckily got woken up by shiyun) ok as i type this i realize that i am extremely crappy and nonsensical and not making my point credible at all so i shall just give up. as i briefly browsed through what crap i wrote it seems highly selfish and self centred!!

anwyay i met my roommate laura for the first time this semester just now when going home and it was such a pleasant surprise and it was so nice seeing her again... even though i dun really know her it was just so heartwarming talking to her once again.... =) felt then like inviting her to my place for dinner some day..... yet it's kinda a fleeting thought and i know i would prob never do it.... cos i prob wun get down to doing it..... sigh. i think i always hav many random thoughts that just pass through my mind and i never really try to materialize any of them. if i tried to.. maybe i would hav a lot more things to occupy myself with... plus more goals in life....

just had my econ 119 midterm and i think i did badly so quite upset. but i know that i always worry so much such that everyone thinks that i am exaggerating the extent of how badly i did.... i dunno. i really felt like changing my grading option to p/np since the deadline is this fri..... yet i dun think i should do so cos i enjoy the material being taught in this class and if i take it p/np i know i wun put in as much effort and as such i prob wun learn as much either.... i shall just try harder on my prob sets and try harder for the final i guess =) instead of wallowing in self pity =) and dear huining was really nice to console me though i was being complainy....
this week and next would be super stressful!! tmr i will hav lessons from 8am to 7pm with just maybe 4 half hour breaks.... will be so so tired. and next week i have econ 131 and 182 midterms... hws and jap word quiz on fri... cna't wait for everything to be over! i hope i can be disciplined and study hard this weekend...

tis a bright sunny sat afternoon and washed my rugs and bathroom mats just now... yay now everything is nice and clean =P went to dump rubbish just now and discovered that there was a lemon tree at the backyard area... and i have never noticed it even though i have been living here for nearly 5months! also tried to cook beef ball noodle soup with the ikan bilis my mum sent me and soya beans and soy sauce and it turned out pretty edible. yay! =) i'm so highly 'domesticated'... and gonna cook dinner for the freshies coming for dinner later....
yesterday saw my untainted view of the world crumble... when i realized that people are not as innocent and intentionless as i would like to think them to be..... that things that i tended to believe only happen on tv are in fact very real issues playing out in our lives, but it's just a matter of whether u actively notice it or not... i feel like i am so tian zhen and naive....oh well. perhaps i am still not very exposed to a whole bunch of different ppl out there, which then accounts for my somewhat narrow and 'cloistered' view of the world. or maybe i am aware of these things, just that i choose not to really think about them.
i am beign random.... but am so glad that i have a pot of little white flowers in my room... makes my life 1% more meaningful haha... i feel happy when the buds start opening and flowers start appearing!! though i am nowhere near a good gardener.... i just pour water into the pot everyday.... haha app plants are supposed to filter the air too... so erm i can also console myself that i am now breathing fresher air?! haha. i am being mo ming.

i seem to hav mood swings everyday. and i think i think way too many bad thoughts everyday, enough to throw me into depression even when i have nothing that serious to worry about. STILL havne't finished my econ 119 homework despite staying up till nearly 3am to do it.... i am pathetically inefficient. shall try my best to crap question 2b) later then drop it into paige's mailbox... went down to Le Conte elementary sch somewhat hesitantly to do Krayola today.... though i like interacting with the kids, me being not as warm and extroverted as my other volunteers somewhat made me feel a little out sometimes... i don't know why but i think i am just so lukewarm all the time that it is also hard for kids to warm up to me... and maybe everyone i meet in general. i dun think i am incapable of feeling passionate about things or having a lot of things to blabber about... but i think i just have too many reservations and worries about opening up or appearing too enthu.... and as such i usually just dun say much.... which also often make me question myself if i am really boring to others... of course i dun think that all the time, but i guess sometimes people just feel a little down and start wondering a lot of things. hmmm dunno. oh well. i'm kinda glad though that i have gotten into the habit of blogging whenever i feel like complaining or 'venting' frustrations.... cos i think soemtiems writing does help to soothe my bad mood, if i am in one...

watched sun yanzi's the moment vcd yesterday and somehow i coulnd't hep but feel that her life is so duo zi duo cai.... well not that i yearn for somethign like that, cos the sky would really fall if i started acting or something... but her mtv with a hot air balloon really made me feel like i wanted to just get into a hot air balloon and just float over everything and all over the world and just not do anything else..... haha
and i was just veyr touched when she kinda teared while thanking all the people who have helped her and supported her all this while; it's just so nice to know that no matter what you do or how terrible u might think urself to be or how stressed u are there are always people there for you...

i have an ou xiang!! albeit fictitious. haha... can't help developing respect and liking for Fanny Price, a character in Mansfield Park... though she isn't highly regarded by the rest of the Bertram family except for her caring cousin Edmund, she nonetheless doens't fail to shine and she is easily the most sensible and thoughtful member in the family... though she is usually the silent onlooker, she manages to make the most out of every situation.... the person who sees all... and yet everyone doesn't think very highly of her... and she's so exceedingly modest despite of her li-hainess.... ok but i am only halfway through my book so i dunno what else will happen. haha i would like to learn to be like her... to observe things and think about them critically and even if people dun think very highly of me i certainly wouldn't mind!! =) i want to improve my eng... was doign my PEIS midterm just now and i can't help but be a little disgusted at how my eng deteriorates when i am trying to write something in a hurry!! i must strive to write in good english, in spite of a lack of time... in short... under all circumstances!!! haha but it's hard... but shall be my resolution of the day. =) think my econ 119 hw is tough!!! aargh. havne't even started on it yet.. and it's due tmr.. hope i get it done tonight..... =P

aargh..
tried to revamp my site but ended up losing my nice paw background!! haha oh well. nmind. now i hav a greyish looking site... =P
bought a little pot of plant from albertsons just now for 99 cents.. it has nice white flowers.... haha wanted to get ham and some groceries but all the ham was snapped up due to special offer and ended up getting mint skittles and plant and wheat thins... successfully made my honey walnut prawns yest =) yay and it wasnt' too difficult.... haha next time when ppl come for dinner i will hav a new dish in place!

picked up jane austen's mansfield park a few days ago and now i am a little addicted to it..... bought it for my r and c class but i dropped it in the end and the book has been lying on my bookshelf ever since. decided to engage in some self improvement activities so started reading the intro last weekend for fun.... and i rediscovered my liking for jane austen's books! remb that i really loved pride and prejudice when i first read it...maybe like 3, 4 years ago... and at that point in time i guess i was like one of those more idealistic 'romantic' secondary sch girl and i really thought elizabeth and mr darcy were very sweet.... act i cannot really remb much of the storyline at all but just that i really liked it at that point in time. many ppl can't stand classics but i feel that jane austen though she writes in proper eng and all but yet she manages to be pretty amusing in her descriptions, which then makes her writing lighter.... well but i guess there will still be people who dun agree with me..... feel rueful that i have kind of given up reading as a hobby for some time.... i used to read so much alst time, and even in JC i still read at least 5 novels a year... but ever since i came to berkeley i kinda stopped.... glad i am 1/4 through mansfield park but with midterms right around the corner i seriously doubt i will be able to finish it though.
had a nice conversation with joyce yest about the books we've read! haha... and we were both lamenting how we dun read now... and we also brought up the topic of lonliness.... and how both of us felt lonely in some way or another.. and she was wondering if that was what many people our age would tend to feel? ya sometimes i think i feel really lonely; i dunno if it's because i go for all my classes alone, go around sch alone... and i hardly talk much to classmates nor do i meet up with many people to do things at all.... and just now when i came home i just felt kinda lonely and xian and yet didn't' want to do any work on a fri night either....
but baked a cake just now!! haha though it was using betty cocker's french vanilla cake mix.... but still....oops but right after it was ready i ate like 1/8 of the cake... tsk tsk... no wonder i am expanding sideways =P
it's bingying's party now and i am stoning at home.... i am 'supposed' to go... and poor zy spent at least 30 min persuading me to go, and nicely offering to come home in an hour but yet i refused to move... feel quite bad but i also dunno why this time round i am actually so staunch about not going... maybe it's just that i can foresee myself feeling uneasy and out among people dancing and drinking away... such that high costs outweigh benefit... even at the expense of offending ppl..... dunno lah. if dun go really 'dun give face' meh?? i mean if they understand my reasons i dont think they would mind...

realised that gsis wun know everything either.... and studying and understanding concepts eventually still 'boils' down to ur own effort and perseverance...went to my econ 182 gsi to ask him how to do probs on the prob set and he ended up concluding that he was confused too and frankly admitted that he didn't know but would figure out. was quite surprised by his honesty and frankness, yet can't help but feel an impending sense of doom haha... what with midterms in bout 2 weeks' time... and i guess it doens't help that he doen'st quite approve of my econ 182 prof either.... who demands they write a prob set every week which i guess meant a lot of work for them and for us poor students too.... same goes for my PEIS 101 GSI who tried to explain some stuff to me but not very effectively and apparently he hadn't done his readings very thoroughly either.... oh well. i kinda miss my IAS 45 GSI last sem, who was veyr much more organized and prepared... =) guess on prob with GSIs is that they aren't very experienced, and for some of them ti's the first time teaching the class, and as such many a time, what they tell us is also based very much on their own interpretations as well..... so in a way i miss the times when i had teachers who were really clear about concepts and could accurately point out what i didn't understand and correct my mistakes.... ok... but of course there are times when i dind't understand what my teachers were trying to point out either haha. oh well... think there will always be things i dun understand as i come across new material... and sometimes it's really hard to get someone to clarify ur concepts...and as long as i maintain a keen learning attitude and not lapse in to the 'i dunno but i cna't be bothered to find out anyway' attitude it isn't that bad even if i dun manage to clear all my doubts? that seems bad..... but sometiems i feel that i am guilty of just letting it go to the back of my brain and i end up not knowing the ans...

watched leo dicap's THE BEACH on tv yest night... and though haunting it was surprisingly thought provoking and i wondered what made me think previously that it was a lousy movie? (even though i've never watched it before) hmmm ya but it was much better than i thought and i also liked how leo narrates events througout the movie. somehow i get attracted to movies with this narrator in the background.... i also liked the ending, which concluded that paradise is perhaps not any place u can actually find, but more of a state, that perhaps u find within urself or 'derived' from the precious relationships with others... well though not exactly profound and we've prob thought about it before but yet i still thought it really true and nice.. =P

received an ominous letter in our mail just now, from a previous tenant or something, saying how she fell seriously ill when he/she lived in our apartment and so did her daughter and now this person thinks he/she sufferes from permannet health damages.. and according to him, past tenants had serious health problems too and that if we are falling ill too we should probably talk.... how freaky.... made me really paranoid... my housemates are half convinced and i guess i shoudldn't think too much about it too but when i first read it i just coulnd't help but feel eerie.... well guess on one hand it might be someone else's good intentions... but then we also wondered if someone wrote it to scare us into moving out??

suffering from a little bit of sleep deficit... stayed up till 2am trying to do my econ 119 hw as well as study for my second written jap quiz this morning... am somewhat disgusted with my slow speed in doing all my prob sets. =( but i can't help it though... i just take some time to get things i think. like i think most ppl only started on the prob sets like last night, whereas i started like long ago, slowly pondering over each question without much results though haha. then in the end had to rush last night....
attempted to be more intellectual so decided to go listen to paul krugman talk about war in iraq and impact on economy (or something along this line i think) at haas business sch, but unfortunately the response was overwhelming and as such i was rejected at the door... haha but also cos there was such a long line i didn't bother to queue up till the line had shortened considerably....
my PEIS midterm is coming up in about a week's time and i dun think i understand all the concepts all that well, def not well enough to churn out a proper essay about the political economy.... and it doens't help that my GSI is more of a pretty face than an effective tutor... and though he is nice and tries to teach but it just isn't very effective in getting me to understnad things. and maybe it's also cos i dun think about things and how the class material and theories relate to real life deeply enough. aargh. i hope i hav enough motivation to do something about it, else my grades would suffer
=(
lets practise jap with a self dialogue......
shu matsu, nani o shi masu ka?? (weekend, what are u going to do?)
watashi wa benkyo suru tsu mo ri desu (i intend to study...)
haha sad rite =P

talked to my mum two nights' ago and she happened to tell me her shocking discovery-- that one of the students murdered in Sydney couple of weeks ago turned out to be the son of our 'old' neighbour, back in the days when we still lived in Tampines... and somehow she felt all the more sorry, because she actually knew the guy who so unfortunately perished innocently. apparently he was sec four when i was in p-school, and we went into their apartment pretty often then... but i cannot remb anything at all though. but the information offered to me by my mum just made the whole incident seem a lot more real somehow.... it also made her more paranoid, resulting in her and sometimes my dad calling me and telling me not to go home too late at night... and not to move around alone unnecessarily...
watched jay chou's vcd that came with the cd album... and they were showing how he had to act in the mtv... and evidently he wasn't a very good actor... and something he said was quite true!! how hard it is to act like u are so shu2 with someone when in fact u actually aren't!! and yet u hav to get intimate with people u dun even understand nor feel any affection for (he was in rome i think and one scene had to make him hug some italian babe and he was like quite emotionless and not passionate enough resulting in many many takes with naughty comments alongside remarking how lousy his acting was)......... but i thought it so true, what he said. like actors can just imagine things so easily.... and DARE to do them too. i think i can NEVER ever do that.. haha... i tend to think twice even with people i know well, like i guess it's hard for me to openly show affections cos i think i am sometimes even scared to tell ppl things in the face..... amazing how many different types of people there are in this world......ok random comment. shall prepare to go to sch....

searched unsuccessfully last night for cheap tics back to sg... spent at least 2 hours on various online travel sites but all these searches gave me quotes of about a thousand bucks for round trip tickets.... =( sigh..... why is it even more expensive to go home this dec... last dec wasn't this bad even... but regardless of ticket prices, i will still fly home i guess... just hope that i am lucky enough to get a cheap deal. or rather, have the perseverance to continue searching for good deals... cooked too much fried rice for myself yest night and i think i'd have to have fried rice for lunch and dinner today.. realize the cooking seems to be what i talk about most of the time, such that 144 hours gave a rather accurate 'insight' about my blog morphing into a food journal or something? haha. maybe its cos that's all i do... eat.. sleep.. study.... called my mum to complain to her the fact that the bottle of dried scallops she sent to me somehow grew mouldy for no good reason!! quite upset cos i have only used a few scallops once. what a waste of money... realized to my horror yest also that oyster sauce had mould on the underside of the bottle cap too!! i had better start putting sauces into my fridge... or maybe it's cos the weather these days isn't all that cold and it should be fine since summer is ending now....

am so so tired today... and my eyelids keeps 'jumping'.... haha old + superstitious ppl always say that is a sign of something bad happening.. but cannot remb whether it's the left or right eyelid that symbolises ominous events. but my right eyelid keeps 'jumpin'....i dunno what's wrong with me. keep taking such long periods of time to do my homework and figure things out, that even when i have a lot of time i end up doign so little. sigh.... i feel stressed.
received jun's thank you card and it really made my day, getting a nice card from someone who appreciates the little things u did =P and a nice email from jeannez consoling me and telling me not to be so pessimistic =P feel like going back to sg now and thanking them! but meanwhile i still hav lessons till 5pm... with only a half hour break + an unfinished econ prob set.... plus i hav readings to do when i get home but i am not so sure i will not sucuumb to temptation of switching on my laptop again at night and end up not doing anything again... i think i am really not that busy, as compared to many of my peers who have to say work or do other stuff too... but yet i dun seem to be able to manage my time that well....

had lunch with elaine and it was really nice seeing her again after so long... =) ever since i moved out of the dorms i never really talked much to her... well actulaly i think after i moved out of the dorms i hardly kept in touch with any of my dorm mates at all. quite sad, well but then again even if i do see them ti's just a casual hi and we dun really hav that much in common to talk about either.... one day i shall try to cook for elaine! =) though i dun really know her that well, yet i feel very comfortable talking to her somehow.
these days i feel increasingly kong xu, that my life is really dry... i think i study too much... or rather i think about work and hardly do any other extra curricular stuff. so i think i'll do participate in krayola again this sem and hopefully do something meaningful for the kids by teaching them art and craft... and i have also neglected things that i was once interested in, such as sign language.... i guess the sad thing is that once u stop doing something, u are not likely to pick it up again unless someone comes along and has the same interest and both of u decide to do things together.... like i think i need to be more active... instead of waiting passively for things to happen. eg. i think it's usually jacqui who asks me if i want to bake, ppl asking me if i want to go for lunch; i think i seldom take the initiative to ask ppl to do things with me..... esp here. dunno why too... maybe i'm just afraid of rejections.... so much so that it prevents me from even trying. that's bad. it shall be my resolution of the week, to be more involved in my own life.. hmm ok sounds weird..... sigh but i always resolve to do things but never really follow through or realize any of my goals... =P

tried cooking two new dishes yesterday! red braised tofu and teriyaki salmon.... haha sadly yesterday's dishes all turned out somewhat wrong... the shrimp paste that i normally use went mouldy and as a result had to resort to the other shrimp paste and i put too much and mmy kangkong was too salty =P and red braised tofu was a little too salty too... haha and amusingly no one could recognize the salmon as salmon. my guests thought it was some other fish... haha quite funny. depleted a lot of soy sauce yest =P
went to library today and tried to do work... and though i really tried, i didnt end up completing a lot. prob being i spent such a long time trying to comprehend stuff.... and long time doing my prob sets as well. i sometimes can't help but think i am SLOW... oh well. getting quite sccared now that homeworks are starting to get heavy.... was actually thinking of doing krayola again this sem... but now maybe not. maybe with my spare time i can attempt to master yu jian.... =) i really love sun yanzi's yu jian. xiang zuo zou xiang you zou is out in sg but i can't watch it... very sad =( aargh. went to play piano today and somehow it revived my love for piano haha. i think i am very 'san fen zhong re du' sometimes.... like when i happen to go do something and i enjoy it i will be very ahppy, and think that i wil do it again next time. but the next tiem sometime never comes.......

a dream

had a really strange but somewhat symbolic dream which left me wondering all morning what action i should take.... dreamt that I was just walking across this bridge at night and there was like dim yellow light shining on me... was alone on this bridge and was then walking down the long flight of steps... feeling somewhat precarious as i sometiems do (though it seems strange to many i guess)... then i came to the end of the flight of steps and there suddenly was a window... and to get to my destination (or wherever i was going) I had to step out of the window to walk down another flight of steps... now this flight of steps was like just by the sea, adjacent to some big mass of water and it was like windy and the water was rough and choppy and i had to walk down the steps... and there was no railing or anything.... and i was feeling really scared and hesitant.... sadly while i was deciding whether to take the risk and end up dead or something i was woken up by my faithful cell phone alarm... and as such i was teetering at that moment, wondering how i should go about doing that but never made any decision..... oh well... really food for thought?? much as i would like to find out what would have happened to me, I think now i can never ever find out.... and perhaps it's just to alert me that there might be something in my life that I ahve been thinking about, or tried to decide upon but havne't done so?? perhaps my dream has drawn on my deepest fears while i have been unaware of my inner emotions all this while.... haha ok or maybe it was just a random dream... i mean though ppl and self-help books always talk about the power of dreams etc etc i guess we also have to take it with a pinch of salt?? haha but i dunno why but i just feel that my 'inner self' is trying to tell me something... i need a consultant...
this dream also inspired me to draw something.... and come up with a whole new art piece about my emotions and stuff.... feel really excited.. but i think i would never get down to doign it though.. cos if i really want to do it it woudl take a lot of time and researching for pictures, to do a really good job. and i guess ever sicne my O level art piece i never ever embarked on any such projects anymore... guess not whole-heartedly either.... quite sad. maybe one day... =) i think i am still sporadically bothered by my "inadequateness" in my studies... getting depressed over being 'xun se'... that i never really really like thought about spending say one whole school week not doing work and doing something i really like.

would like to get such interesting dreams more often though. =P it's been long since i rememebered a dream so vividly....

was pleasantly surprised when i reached home and found 2 letters on my table... one was from ting! and the other one was from unicef... nice to read a chinese letter written by the chinese expert ting... =) and the unicef one was particularly pleasant as well because they sent me really nice labels with my name and add on it.... well they asked for donations (in return for printing labels for me i guess) but i willingly donated because I have always wanted to donate to UNICEF anyway.... well maybe it's not really right, for these charitable organizations to pressure people into making donations using such tactics, but think they are working for a good cause... and children should be entitled to happy childhoods and not hav to worry about survival and lack of health care, malnutrition etc... think childhood is sometimes the happiest times of our lives, precisely because we do not know that much yet and dun worry and live in a world of innocence..... today was also a somewhat nice day because other unexpected things happened too...... had a nice little conversation with shiying, as well as toot toot.....and shing left me a msg asking me to fly my tiramisu back to sg..... haha and crys left me a random msg telling me sars is back in sg.... such things certainly do not happen to me everyday. suddenly all the ppl i know decided to 'call on me' simultaneously... yup. so i really treasure my precious interactions with people today!! =) albeit ending up (again) not doing much work despite having lotsa time to do work..... always happens when i have my laptop on in front of me...

got an email from cat today! it was kinda nice.... considering that I haven't really kept in touch with her for so long... actually i think i have neglected some of my 'old frens', yet not that i constantly make any effort to know new ppl too... oops. cat's life seems really interesting.... that xing fu girl holidaying and slacking in berlin, while here I am in berkeley loaded with lotsa work once again =P ok not that I have been doign a lot of work for the past two weeks, but i know that work will pile up really quickly before I know it... so... well guess i shall be optimistic and believe that work can stimulate my brain and prevent deterioration of writing skills... hmm. ok nmind quite random. nothing interesting happening in my life and i didnt get the tang centre volunteer thing but i finally got into my econ 182 class and now i officially have 20 units... dunno if i should drop cos econ 182 isn't exactly the most interesting class, plus it is at an unearthly hour and has the second last exam group.... nmind shall hang in there for the time being.....