managed to do some admin stuff this morning; figured out which organizations i wanted to apply to and sent out my first one to CARE international.... ok at least i did something... =) thought i would write more cover letters though but apparently i overestimated myself so ended up writing two only... nmind will continue next week.
then finally cooked after a long hiatus... but nothing complicated. fried ikan bilis and peanuts! tasted not bad i thought... made two batches.. one with chilli one without and i think i ate too much of the chilli ones and i am getting a sore throat now... but my peanuts could hav been crunchier and anchovies still crispier though. oh well. first try lah. =)
i am beginning to shift from feeling irritated at receiving so many non-profit org letters and freebies such as cards to feeling pity for the wasted efforts of these organizations... i will not be surprised if many individuals, upon receiving such things just dump them without even opening them.... such a waste of resources. perhaps instead of mailing things to ppl, they should divert their resources to more active fund-raising.... such that ppl will actually be pressured to donate.... i'm not saying that it's better to pressure ppl to donate, but i mean i think it might be more effective in raising funds?...

aargh. just woke up around an hour ago with messy hair cos i unintendedly fell asleep at 10 something last night... ok i intended to take a one hour nap but obviously i overestimated my abilities to wake up to do all the work i had to do.... =( so in the next hour i hav to try to fake my astro lab due today, try to study for jap listening quiz before goign to sch to practise jap oral skit with my partner... with messy hair.. eeks. well ok actually my hair is messy more than 50% of the time.. but still! my hairdryer short-circuits everytime i use it (past few days) leading to blackouts in my room and xiaotian's room and in turn leading us to troop down to ziyang's room where the main panel thing is to reset the switch... which of course led me to much paiseh-ness whenever this happened and as result i cannot blow my hair and i have messy hair from now on... or least till i get a new hairdryer... =(
realized to my horror yesterday when trying to search for internships that some deadlines have passed!! aargh. this weekend will see me frantically trying to search for new oganizations, churning out cover letters yet without a very focused idea of my thesis topic.... am actually quite tired.... cos next few weeks will just be work and more work to do... i want a week where i can slack and relax but that is scarcely possible. plus, it is shocking how there are only about 6 weeks left of this whole semester..... =(

and so bush won. no one is happy... wonder what my instructor will say later. went to his house last night supposedly to blog about elections but everything was still unclear so ended up just sitting here watching CNN... his house is really big and cool and just filled with artistic objects, tapestries, books etc which show how travelled he is... how cultured he is... and the overall decor was just lovely.... wonder if all the houses along solano look like that inside. made me wonder if one day i will have the chance to own a house like that... and grow to be as cultured and worldly like that... in the presence of two other grad journalism students yesterday i just felt really really ignorant and bad... =( yet i dun really know what to do with myself. i sometimes really admire ppl who aren't so directionless... who always know what they want and work hard towards their goals... i think i'm forever searching for things i like... sometimes aimlessly... and i think what if i go dc and screw things up... or what if i dun enjoy myself there and yearn for ppl to fall back on... sometimes i think i am strong but actually i'm very weak... schizo me.

a sadistic name for a dish

ppl who adore jap food would probably know that oyako don is the chicken and egg donburi thing.... but does anyone know what 'oyako' actually means? i didn't, but was enlightened during jap class today.... while reading one of the tb conversations. and so 'oya' means parent and 'ko' means child... and put them together u get ur oyako don.... well. interesting idea, but not exactly very appropriate for a dish...???

just found out that i got into my washington dc program. somehow i was totally zoned out when reading the email... like somehow it didn't occur to me at that instant that i should be happy.... i wonder why. but i guess i really should be elated cos it really is a good piece of news... i can really forsee myself learning a lot if the prog turns out to be as good as i anticipated it to be... but here comes all the logistics issues and the tedious search for an internship.... i guess it's a little too early to miss ppl? =P

it all started with a couch.
when the couch was home, i suddenly got inspired and started pasting pictures on the living room wall... and then everyone got inspired and thus we decided to go to ikea and dada! our living room was transformed within one afternoon. hee really like my lil candle set-up. and btw the yellow flowers i plucked from the bush across the street. *guilty look* i am pleasantly surprised how it is possible to create a homely home with 3 guy housemates... er... perhaps our nice living room will last for one day only... but nonetheless feel lucky and am glad that something good turned out of an initially doubtful housing situation... =)

four candles... one for each of us 

finally... a house picture!  

the toilet of shame campaign (perhaps someone can enlighten me)

as expected i was falling asleep in all my classes today, having slept only a miserable one hour yesterday night in an attempt to finish my midterm paper. though it's done.. think it relaly could have been better but i was just gave up in the end haha... finished it like 15 min before i left for sch this morning.... i hate how i hav to go home and study hard for jap quiz today! aargh. i really really yearn for the weekend.
am highly amused by what my professor just told my poli sci class about singapore. in an attempt to give us an idea of what the authoritarian govt under LKY was like, she came up with this bizarre example of LKY being disturbed by ppl not using toilets properly and sticking chewiing gum everywhere and started this 'toilet of shame' campaign or something, installing surveillance cameras in toilets and offenders get whisked off to prison.... i was just like huh?? hmmm maybe i am just too ignorant, but i really dun recall anything like that so i was just bewildered... she probably exaggerated... even though she claims she has been to Singapore, she just made more generalizations like it's the cleanest place in the world...that it's an offence to chew chewing gum.... hmmm wonder why foreigners get such warped ideas of singapore... even today. or maybe they just like to perpetuate these stereotypes..

realized that many things are easier said than done.

realized also that ur actions dun only impact yourself, but others as well.... such as when my forgetfulness and busy studying for midterm led guy to call me 4 times, leaving me voice messages urging me to call him back to give him my policy number cos he lost it.... momentarily i felt so wicked; how could i induce such pain in someone totally innocent, victim of my carelessness... i suppose he thought i would shirk responsibility. i am glad for myself that as i grew up my sense of 'morality' grew stronger. remember immoral moments as a kid when i helped my fren buy this scented eraser from the school bookstore, lying that it was $1 instead of 50 cents cos i wanted to get one for myself too.... haha. but there was retributive justice cos i remember wondering where the eraser i got using ill-gotten gains disappeared to despite having put it safely into my pocket.... and once i lied to my mum that there was some big bully in sch who extorts money from me as an excuse to not go to sch and got my mum rather worried... i am glad though that those were harmless lies....

what am i doing! blogging in the middle of writing my midterm paper.. distracted girl...

it is immensely rewarding sometimes to get to understand one side of your friend that you never really got to...to understand that everyone has weak moments and that u aren't the only one in the world mulling over what seems terribly unfortunate and distressing. am glad that i had two nights of interesting conversation with people i never really thought would open up to me. midterms suddenly seemed extremely trivial in comparison... (ok wait till i get a bad grade and start complaining haha) it is sometimes good to discard pre-conceptions of people and just be open and listen to what they have to say. lesson learnt this week? some things may be really painful right now but they might be better for you in the long run...

really love my friends who are so nice to me... and i guess i should give my dear housemate honorable mention for being concerned though appearing not to... =P posted a pic of my three girl pals hanging out in my room doing work last sunday morning, complete with packets of snacks of course. hee sumei is munching happily away.
my poor feet ache after a day of walking at least 6 cm taller.... i think my interview was alright but at some point in time i just felt terribly ironic... cos they were asking me things like so how do you motivate yourself? how do you deal with stress?? part of me wanted to shout.. i just brood all day and get upset over nothing... but obviously that would screw up my whole interview so i had to be fake and say hmmm oh... i try to give myself little rewards whenever i accomplish something... set little goals.... oh well. now i am getting paranoid say if i do get in... and the director would find me a fakeo for being not highly motivated nor good at dealing with stress.. haha. oh well. i guess i should give myself a little pat on the back for not screwing things up at least...
then right after my interview i decided to play it safe and check my schedule... and to my horror i discovered that i HAD NOT changed my astro 10 to p/np..... so i had to run in uncomfortable shoes to campbell and to my relief it wasn't too late... goodness knows how my gpa would fall if i were stuck with letter-graded astro 10!

girls hanging out! 

=( something happened today that was entirely my fault. dear shimin, why can't you be more careful and think before u act.... well instead of brooding what i should prob do is to take this as a painful lesson, get it settled and move on..

today's colder than yesterday...my weather bug registered 10C this morning... and even though it's relatively sunny, i can feel the coldness in the air...
so the straits times has revamped its website... perhaps in its bid to be more 'cosmopolitan' or professional or whatsoever but it actually annoyed me when i first visited the site... cos now, readers hav to register to access its articles.... well... reputable papers such as ny times and washington post hav that... but somehow when a local paper does that to me i get a bit irritated.. haha. like erm why so ma fan.. i could read it without any hassle last time.... ok maybe i'm just biased. dun really like the squarish headings either... well i suppose they are supposed to look 'cool' but they are a little too small and strain my eyes.
was too tired and fell asleep reading my articles yesterday night, but woke up earlier to do a little outline for my 10-12 pg poli sci midterm due next week... feel excited whenever i get some idea and want to put it into words into some zai essay.... but it always ends up that i take so much longer than most ppl to write something decent... and end up finishing everything like the night before... but keeping this in mind, i shall try to start early this time round. but beforeo that i hav 3 long articles to plough through for my ps section tmr =(

my fingertips are freezing as i type this. woke up this morning to an extremely cold room and wanted to just snuggle under my fleece blanket and not go to sch... it's raining!!! =( and the wind is so so cold. hate rain... it's not supposed to rain in october! all the signs of winter are starting to appear. was walking past sproul yesterday and teh ground just in front of sather gate was just covered with dried leaves... my computer says 11C right now but it feels like it's below 10. bbrr.
think i am distracted... not doing as much work as i hoped i would.. even though i reallly tried. it's nice driving ppl late back at night though. with soothing music and nice smooth roads that allow ur car to just cruise along... eeks hav to study for jap vocab quiz now... 40 min before i set off for sch..

i am really happy today... it was like an intensive girls' day out kinda thing haha. cos i was practically with the kearney house the whole day... from having three guests in my room in the morning, to going for the spice of life festival with shiying... to studying at a cafe wtih shiying and jacqui, then safeway with sumei and shiying and finally dinner at their place. it was really fun and enjoyable though, although highly unhealthy since we practically snacked the whole day as well... devoured packets of calbee crackers, wheat thins, potato chips.. didn't get that much work done, but not totally unproductive either.. so happy nonetheless... i hav grown incredibly snacky... and have developed a craving for salty snacks.. i foresee a lot of work ahead this week though, what with telebears appointments, jap quizzes, astro hws, honors meeting writeup, upcoming midterm and interview preparation.. but better busy than idle i suppose =)

so i shall face the jitters of intimidating interviews next fri, when i go for my UCDC interview... am supposed to go in typical Washington D.C working attire... which means i hav to hide my school bag somewhere... and traverse the undulating terrain of our hilly campus in high heels. eeks. so ma fan.
i had my own visitors just now... how fun. haha but not entirely healthy, with the three of us munching on my wheat thins and cardboard-tasting wheat crackers, according to sumei. and to my dismay was unable to help when sumei asked me econ 119 questions... tried to do some jap hw but not very successful. read two pages of the economist.. well. at least i did laundry... i wish the whole week was composed of friday nights, then there will never be pressure to rush homeworks haha.
i am tired of trying too hard sometimes when ppl dun seem to want to reciprocate anymore. feel hurt but i shall let go and be a more carefree person. just hope i wun say say then end up not changing.

of lovebites, earrings, sodium-loaded instant dinners, personalized mailing labels and unexpected voices

am upset about one thing but shall choose to blog on the little things that made me pleasantly surprised... got a few 'lovebites' this evening... according to another volunteer.. well of course from non-humans... such as black cats.. haha. i finally got one on my lap today.. and attempted to carry another really nice furry one but that prompty leapt back into his cage.. haha. some of these cats have such nice smooth fur and sweet personalities it pains me to think that their status quo is 'unwanted'... i love it when the cat leans its face on my hand and rubs against it.. it's such a tingly feeling sometimes.. then came home and watched the presidential debate while eating an extremely salty instant dinner... am getting a little annoyed with organizations that send me personalized mailing labels... i donated once to UNICEF and now all of them are asking me to donate... sigh. i mean i would like to help but i really can't spare that much money. then gimme goodies make me feel guilty. =( got earrings from my sis in the mail today! in exchange for the wallet and t-shirt i sent her.. yay. nice to get surprises in the mail. =) makes your day when u are feeling upset..... and just now i spoke for a few min to xiaotian's fren who happened to call xiaotian and happened to ask about the 'cavewoman' in the house.... though i dun know him veyr well, it was really a pleasant surprise... to hear from someone nice "out of the blue"... ok shall stop doodling around and get my work done for tmr... readings readings and more readings. 2 hws due. but i'm suddenly very into blogging these few days..

earrings from sis! 

yesterday i was reminded that i am actually pretty anti-social.. and 'off'.... I sometimes ask myself why ppl dun really want to talk to me, or find it difficult to... but i think the reason is i am really not that easy to talk to! =P actually i also wonder why i dun seem to have much to say. why am i so much less opinionated than most ppl... i think i am not very good company at all... but i am so thankful to know that i still have people who are willing to be my friends despite me erm being kinda silent 1/2 the time... haha perhaps i can console myself that i am a really rare 'breed'?