I think I am beginning to understand why some colleagues have so much leave balance, that some people even have to carry forward their 2005 leave balance to 2007. Because there's sometimes no incentive to go on leave. Not when going for a break comes at the cost of tonnes of emails in your inbox and lotsa catching-up to do. So I really admire those ppl who really make the effort to go for (often much-needed) breaks. Sometimes I can't help but question... why is there so much work to be done at times? Why is there so many things to go around?? who churns out things and why do they keep increasing if people cannot manage and are forever missing deadlines? I have yet to make sense out of all this. One colleague also quit recently.... so in this "sunset period" she has appeared to be relatively freer than most of us. Couldn't help but fantasize a bit that such a choice was readily available to me. Hai, and somewhat embarrassing when boss actually not-so-subtly remarked just now (I believe with ref to some of my recent assignments)... "eh, you have quite a few typo errors"... Where has my heart flown to?

I have been extremely clumsy lately -- have been bumping into many many things in my way... Even when exits/doors/railings etc were obviously not blocking my way, I can blindly walk into everything. Good thing they weren't severe enough to cause a series of blueblacks on my arm... Also somehow managed to walk into the partition separating workstations when exiting one colleague's workstation. When the 'exit' technically has enough room for 2 persons to stand side-by-side. My bumping caused a minor earthquake of the partition; she and I both also couldn't stop laughing at me, cos it was the 2nd time i've done it when walking out of her workstation... Why haven't I been able to walk straight these few weeks??

Tonight I also have bloodshot eyes from unsuccessful pinching of contacts... :( having disposed of old permanent contacts, recently finally got down to getting disposable dailies for occasional use. But slippery nature of these disposables has made them extremely elusive for my untrained and "rusty" fingers... Well, i finally managed to get them out, but not before rupturing many blood vessels.... sigh. now i dun dare to put on a new one again :P maybe I should consult my optician on best pinching techniques...

Sunrise

I usually dun have the luxury of watching the sunrise, but caught sight of the beautiful vermillion sky early this week when having breakfast. And thus rushed to balcony to capture the pretty sky. So here it is... nothing beats just sitting there for a few min and marveling at the beauty of nature. This picture has somehow diffused the orange and reds. It's been a busy week for me, with our on-site registrations and house visits again. And without really realizing it it'll be Friday tmr! Hopefully I'll zip past the next busy week and then get a well deserved tiny holiday next Sat cum weekend.

On some days I'm just struck with the harsh reality that there are so many aspects to life... esp after I started working and got to witness people at different stages in life. I get 'reminded' that there are and will be many things I will deal with and face at later stages of my life, whether I like it or not, cos these are just things that will soon not or later come up. Last week, the sudden demise of a colleague's father came as a slightly shocking piece of news to me. Earlier this week, I also found out that a colleague was pregnant. Then, a day later when I found out that another recently-married colleague was also pregnant, I somehow couldn't suppress my unfounded surprise and apparently had this look of disbelief on my face (aiyah i mean it shouldn't be so surprising, but I guess I was like in shock for 3 min cos suddenly find out about 2 pregnancies in 2 days mah). Since my antennae was always either spoilt or half-working, I tried to confirm with this colleague (who divulged the news) that there were no more pregnancies I ought to be aware of; to which this colleague amusingly remarked, "you know, this kinda thing is ongoing... but for now I don't think there are anymore lah, unless got accidents..." Anyway, moral of story is it somehow made me wonder if I'll ever like step over to other stages in life, or would I always remain as status quo? And made me wonder if ppl actually progress to other stages ready and well-prepared for the new 'challenges' ahead? How do ppl decide or know that this is really what they want?

Pepper Crab Outing

The first outing of our 'singles club' was an outing to a kopitiam place called Eng Seng Restaurant at Joo Chiat Place, famous for its pepper crabs. There were originally 11 of us, but our group shrunk to a mere 4 after many casualties arising from having to stay back at work etc/ family commitments last min. I was tempted to stay back to finish up my work too, but alas! decided to go ahead with the outing planned weeks ago. So, after the last member of our little team managed to get off work, we rushed down in a taxi for our food :P The crabs here are so popular that they run out by 7 or so on Fridays, but we managed to call up the coffeeshop beforehand to reserve some crabs. Nonetheless we were told that they will be 'given away' if we didn't reach by 7.15pm. Thus the mad rush. When we reached, there was a long line and we were told that even though we had reserved our crabs we still had to join the queue to wait for tables. Auntie there taking orders also seemed a bit pian1 xin1 and appeared to take orders first for her shu2 ke4s... Nonetheless, when we finally got our food, everyone tucked in immediately. The crabs were yummy, esp with the rich pepper sauce. But cos I haven't had pepper crabs in some 5 months or so I don't have any basis for comparison. I should check out more places.... We also ordered cheap but good chicken wings from an adjacent store; and adjourned to Parkway Parade after dinner for durian ice-cream dessert.... aaah... I'm still feeling bloated from my dinner cum supper!

On some days I get so demoralized and frustrated at work, but I realize that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Boss gets his fair share of frustrations and I bet his job is way more stressful than mine. So are some other colleagues'. But how do these ppl manage it... ? And even though I'm 9-months-old at this unit, I am nowhere near competent at what I do... it's really quite pathetic but I sometimes console myself (excuses, excuses!) that this is natural given that I never chose to do what I am assigned. Sometimes I feel so pent-up but yet I can't blog indiscriminately given that evil regulators lurk out there waiting for you to say something incendiary and then alert authorities to have you put in jail (ok i am exaggerating). Maybe I should talk to my frowny care-bear instead. Work-aside, I have also been feeling unhappy about various things in my life but things don't just happen whenever you wish for them to. Nonetheless, I concede that you have to work hard for things you want. After all, life becomes easily becomes boring and unchallenging if you get EVERYTHING without doing anything.

Totoro in HDB Estate
Jeannice recently gave me a tiny Totoro from Hokkaido... which i've put up on the windowgrille of my new room. And on a slow Sat morning I was inspired to come up with some silly pictures below... Globalisation has brought Totoro to the HDB estate.The view from my window, with Totoro watching over me ;P

A good friday

Yesterday marked my first night in my new room! yeah.. about 4 months after I announced that I would be getting my own room :P didn't get a whole lot of furniture... only a simple bookcase that doubled up as a side table; a bedside table cum drawer and a new wardrobe-- cos my sister's and my clothes were literally spilling out of our old wardrobe. since it's impossible and wasteful to just dump all old furniture, also reused some old pieces and so room looks kinda like an odd fusion, but still ok for my liking... hee... will decorate my walls over time. it's fun to be able to do up your own room... and to 'mark the occasion', i went out shopping for lil things I could get; and found a cool cushion cover (which i now find a little scary actually cos it's a half-face-half-motifs design) at The LIFESHOP at Raffles City, at half-price. (It's a cool furniture/lifestyle store, but sadly, most items are way above my budget...)

Also volunteered for the first time as an usher/ticket-puncher at the National Museum. task was quite simple, and caught bits of a very interesting Syrian whirling dance performance. at the end of it all, was also asked by staff to be one of two girls to present bouquets to the director and main performer... that was really quite random, but since no one knew me anyway and it's just presenting of flowers, i did it quite unreluctantly haha. but yeah, quite a good experience overall. not to be blasphemous or anything, but it was really a 'Good Friday' on the whole...

The Lives of Others is an excellent film. The first 20 min or so was a little hard to get into, but soon you'll get really drawn into the whole story... I love how it ends... I think not reading any synopsis (or a really brief one) would make the film more enjoyable/more impactful... pls only read the plot summary on wikipedia after you've watched it! Catch it at the Cathay Picturehouse before it goes off the screens ;)

2Q resolutions

I find it hard to introduce changes into my normal routine; cos whatever self-improvement drive I choose to embark on would inevitably eat into my sleeping/resting/bumming time... but perhaps small steps will help? And so, the 3 small things I set out to do are ONE: Be a more conscientious Japanese student and stop doing homework only at last min. This i've been trying to 'implement' over the past 3 months or so but haven't been very successful. It beats me why I bother spending $300 for each semester, only to remb sufficient grammar and vocab to do my weekly test. More discipline!! Also splurged on an electronic dictionary last week; if I don't study harder I suppose i'm really throwing money into the drain :( TWO: Exercise more. I've come to appreciate the importance of exercising, but I don't do enough of it. But... this will take time lah. slowly slowly... shall aim to eventually exercise twice a week or something. Should also be a good way to force myself to get off work more punctually. THREE: This is not really a resolution, but I've been trying to think about what things really matter to me/things I enjoy. Under the influence of that inspirational book i read some weeks ago, I have been trying to figure that out... so last Sunday I revisited the good old Bras Basah Complex and all the arty shops there... feels a little like finding things you've lost. Gone are the sec days where I could spend literally 4, 5 hours in the art-room just drawing one thing, or putting together a little part of my art project; yet not feel that time has been 'wasted'. Sometimes you wonder, have certain things been 'rightly sacrificed' and why have they been sacrificed?

Why are rubber bands red

today was our annual staff conference and each staff was given $1.50 coffee allowance. Since not everyone can fit into our auditorium, we are given the choice to watch the live telecast at various spots within the dept. But we didn't. (Ppl however get a kick out of watching things like our DCEO modeling our new corporate uniform on stage-- that was during another recent award ceremony :P) anyway, so our support staff suggested getting nasi lemak for breakfast instead, and so this morning everyone gathered at the table for a brief nasi lemak respite (haha more like inertia to work cum form of escapism)... and cos diff ppl had slightly diff choices, some packets came tied in blue-colored rubber bands (quite rare)... when we were finishing up someone asked me to pass a rubber band (to secure the trash) and it suddenly struck me as I was handing over the good old red rubber band to a colleague -- why are rubber bands usually red?? When i posed the question to colleagues, one claimed that cos the rubber seed is reddish... then another interjected -- but latex is white! no conclusion was reached though. well, in Singapore rubber bands i've seen are mostly red; some yellow. So why red? when I reached home and quizzed my Dad, his guess was that since most things aren't red it's more visible when rubber bands are red. I think that sounds like a logical reason... but then... why not purple?? not many things are purple. why not orange?? why red?? is it also cos red is primary color that's easy to 'mix'? what's your take? :)

I find it so hard to do things I dislike but have to do... though it's a natural tendency for all of us to do what we like.. it's a sign of weakness not to be able to do things you don't want to yet have to. I need to become stronger... !!

Film-crazy!

3 film-related snippets in today's post. I watched The Adventures of the Prince Achmed at the National Museum yest evening.... made by German filmmaker Lotte Reiniger, it's apparently the first animated feature to have a worldwide release; and the first surviving full-length animated feature in movie history... the National Museum commissioned a local musician to do a soundtrack for this silent animated film and it was pretty cool, cos she performed 'live', too. Was awed by how she created such a magical animation film with lotsa craft (intricate and beautiful paper cuttings) and minimum technology...
Film snippet no. 2 is that the Singapore International Film Festival is coming up! can check it out here...
Last thing is that I'm going to show a documentary for colleagues over lunch! i've blogged about this before... it's Joyce's cool final year project, Singapore Standard Time... :)

Holiday in sight

keen on a holiday in Vietnam and forced by Dad to take a packaged one (esp cos I'm going with my mum) I braved the crowds yesterday evening and went for the NATAS fair... It was, expectedly, very crowded. and place was quite badly littered with flyers.... well, that's not entirely surprising considering that visitors are greeted by a line of flyer-distributors once they enter the exhibition. The omnipresent flyer-distributors are also stationed near the escalators; alongside the queue for buying admission tics etc etc. Aiyoh, wonder how much paper is going to be wasted... someone should put a recycling bin or two outside the exhibition hall. Hmm, anyway, and so I'll be going to Ho Chi Minh in a little more than a month's time! yay. but yeah, very short getaway lah. but at least it's something to look forward to :) better go and "chop" some leave come Monday morning...

I've always felt unlucky about getting one of the oldest CPUs in the unit, which can only take the low-speed USB drive... and which has caused me a fair bit of inconvenience. But my luck seems to be improving... I got my chunky monitor replaced by a brand new 17-inch LCD monitor screen yesterday; and was told that I would soon get a new CPU, too! yay :) Well, I don't get chio Fujitsu laptops like some other lucky civil servants *ahem* but yeah, one should not be too greedy huh. Also just got myself a new Japanese CD... I quite like some of the songs, but very unfortunately I really don't like how the Japanese-Korean-studied-in-Hawaii singer looks.... I seldom have such a problem, and singer is not like ugly or anything... she just has that hiao2 look which I cannot really stand (thankfully you can't really tell from pic on the cover else I will have to face this look everytime I play my CD) and as such I don't think I will buy any of her other albums.. least not till I can get over this. Hai, i can't believe this is coming from me :P haha but i tried....!

throat has been 'acting up' again of late, perhaps due to insufficient rest and me trying to do too many things even on weekends. as such dryness, and feeling of something stuck in my throat has unfortunately returned. that got my dad worried again, so he accompanied me to the doctor once again to check that nothing's wrong with me. luckily, doctor said symptoms might just be 'remnants' of my sore throat last week, and that I should get better with time. She prescribed me more medicine, and I now have a full range of throat medicine, ranging from anti-inflammtory pills, mouth gargles to numbing lozenges... hmmph. I guess I am well-stocked for similar ailments in future. And I'm officially on a full MC today! figured I should just rest well once and for all. however will miss out on Swensen's treat this afternoon, which boss is giving, having been officially given Management's stamp of approval as unit head. Nevermind, I shall rest well and try to make full use of the free time today -- these days it's so rare to have an entire day of personal time!

A day of firsts

Sales are everywhere! but i'm finding myself a little too tired to shop. had quite a packed Saturday today... was asked to Botanic Gardens today and tried taking a new bus service (No. 5) from my bus stop to Far East Plaza... finally there's a bus that brings me all the way from home to Orchard... took more than an hour though... but at least there's now an additional option :) then met up with a couple of old RGS classmates, whom i've not seen for years... cos it's Cat's birthday today and we decided to go try out this Korean restaurant (Jang Shou Korean BBQ) at Esplanade. Well, i wonder why it had decent reviews, cos the food was just so-so and expensive... and it had inflexible ordering policies, such as making customers order at least 2 portions of bbq meat if we wanted to choose from the bbq menu... the bbq meat is supposed to be good.. but too bad we didn't order it :P. lost track of time at lunch and ended up missing my weekly STEP class.. so decided to go try pilates for fun... it's actually pretty interesting... cos you fiddle around with this multi-purpose stick (multi-purpose cos this stick has elastic bands with loops at the ends for you to stick your feet into) a lot during the workout... haha erm I think i've just succeeded in making pilates sound like a super weird form of exercise. but yeah. i think it trains your muscles...though I had a lot of trouble doing all those stretches and prob did >half the things wrongly, I still hope that whatever I did contributed a little towards a flatter tummy :P

the nasty episode of painful swallowing is finally over! my throat is nearly as good as before today :) didn't expect such a speedy recovery, but it was really sudden sickness, sudden recovery. when i started getting better, I realized that I appreciated being able to swallow painlessly and unawkwardly a lot more... hai. perhaps it's a tiny lesson to punish me for my snacking-on-dry-heaty-stuff habits. Speedy recovery was also in part due to late night consultation at Changi Hospital on sunday night. the unprecedented painful condition got my paranoid dad quite worried and he insisted on taking me to the A & E dept to do some check. (well, so i contributed to that pool of non-urgent cases that the A & E dept receives yearly) Expectedly, non-urgent cases were also not tended to immediately, so ended up waiting at the hospital till close to midnight... nonetheless saw the doc, who confirmed that it's prob not tonsilitis... he also gave me a much stronger antibiotic... which worked wonders! two lil thoughts on incident -- 1) it's a blessing to have such loving (albeit ultra-paranoid) parents 2) ENT stands for Ear, Nose and Throat (dept?) hehe. feel relieved that I didn't need to have funny tubes stuck down my nose/throat etc.

Maybe I have tonsilitis

And so the watermelon powder thingy failed me. Woke up this morning with a full blown sore throat... and even after taking my medicine it hasn't shown any signs of getting better... Doesn't help that the doctor whom I saw this morning didn't give me any form of reassurance at all. He somewhat lackadaisically asked me... how long has this been going on? any fever? have you been taking fried, spicy food lately? etc etc. then when I said... it's veyr painful... is it serious? to which he answered, it's probably an infection, but you don't have any fever yet... (so i get the impression it's not serious, though he gave me a cryptic answer).... found it very hard to concentrate with extremely awkward throat so took MC and came back late morning. THEN, later this evening, i started googling for 'tonsilitis' and it appears to describe my symptoms pretty well... esp the bit about finding painful and hard to swallow... yes, I know that it can help me jian3 fei2 (since I either dun feel like eating, or can only eat softer and not so yummy foods), but please go away soon...

my sore throat 'brewed' into an extremely painful one in 2 days and I suspect the culprit is some ulcer... cos pain feels somewhat localised. i can't even swallow without wincing... let's hope the funny watermelon powder works wonders and that I'll be ok tomorrow. on a totally unrelated note, I'm wondering if I should spend $500 on a good electronic Japanese-English dictionary which will allow me to look up words and how to use them in sentences in a few 'clicks'... hmm.. $500.... quite ex... but may be a good long-term investment though.