i seem to hav mood swings everyday. and i think i think way too many bad thoughts everyday, enough to throw me into depression even when i have nothing that serious to worry about. STILL havne't finished my econ 119 homework despite staying up till nearly 3am to do it.... i am pathetically inefficient. shall try my best to crap question 2b) later then drop it into paige's mailbox... went down to Le Conte elementary sch somewhat hesitantly to do Krayola today.... though i like interacting with the kids, me being not as warm and extroverted as my other volunteers somewhat made me feel a little out sometimes... i don't know why but i think i am just so lukewarm all the time that it is also hard for kids to warm up to me... and maybe everyone i meet in general. i dun think i am incapable of feeling passionate about things or having a lot of things to blabber about... but i think i just have too many reservations and worries about opening up or appearing too enthu.... and as such i usually just dun say much.... which also often make me question myself if i am really boring to others... of course i dun think that all the time, but i guess sometimes people just feel a little down and start wondering a lot of things. hmmm dunno. oh well. i'm kinda glad though that i have gotten into the habit of blogging whenever i feel like complaining or 'venting' frustrations.... cos i think soemtiems writing does help to soothe my bad mood, if i am in one...

watched sun yanzi's the moment vcd yesterday and somehow i coulnd't hep but feel that her life is so duo zi duo cai.... well not that i yearn for somethign like that, cos the sky would really fall if i started acting or something... but her mtv with a hot air balloon really made me feel like i wanted to just get into a hot air balloon and just float over everything and all over the world and just not do anything else..... haha
and i was just veyr touched when she kinda teared while thanking all the people who have helped her and supported her all this while; it's just so nice to know that no matter what you do or how terrible u might think urself to be or how stressed u are there are always people there for you...

i have an ou xiang!! albeit fictitious. haha... can't help developing respect and liking for Fanny Price, a character in Mansfield Park... though she isn't highly regarded by the rest of the Bertram family except for her caring cousin Edmund, she nonetheless doens't fail to shine and she is easily the most sensible and thoughtful member in the family... though she is usually the silent onlooker, she manages to make the most out of every situation.... the person who sees all... and yet everyone doesn't think very highly of her... and she's so exceedingly modest despite of her li-hainess.... ok but i am only halfway through my book so i dunno what else will happen. haha i would like to learn to be like her... to observe things and think about them critically and even if people dun think very highly of me i certainly wouldn't mind!! =) i want to improve my eng... was doign my PEIS midterm just now and i can't help but be a little disgusted at how my eng deteriorates when i am trying to write something in a hurry!! i must strive to write in good english, in spite of a lack of time... in short... under all circumstances!!! haha but it's hard... but shall be my resolution of the day. =) think my econ 119 hw is tough!!! aargh. havne't even started on it yet.. and it's due tmr.. hope i get it done tonight..... =P

aargh..
tried to revamp my site but ended up losing my nice paw background!! haha oh well. nmind. now i hav a greyish looking site... =P
bought a little pot of plant from albertsons just now for 99 cents.. it has nice white flowers.... haha wanted to get ham and some groceries but all the ham was snapped up due to special offer and ended up getting mint skittles and plant and wheat thins... successfully made my honey walnut prawns yest =) yay and it wasnt' too difficult.... haha next time when ppl come for dinner i will hav a new dish in place!