idled away all day... but i finally received my naruto dvds in the mail today! and so just watched 9 at a go.. only at episode 19 now though. hav to sleep now lah. but ya, it's so nice! haha. the plot is actually pretty meaningful...i think it's the first anime series to make me cry... but then again i hardly watch any anime series..only hav till episode 50 though so have to think of way to get hold of more =P or maybe not..else i'll just rot all day glued to my laptop screen...DAME YO! cos have impt assignment due next week. but i also like to watch naruto to listen to the japanese... my japanese really going down the drain... so hav to watch anime... haha. excuses excuses.

i feel very overwhelmed with information. i'm like wading in this big pool of info and dunno where i'm heading. sigh. feel kinda lost for my research paper and i'm getting a little tired. i think i print too many things to read but dun really have a direction. which is bad... and as a result i'm kinda discouraged. and spend more time than i need on unimportant stuff....
the other UC ppl are all leaving and so are the two hongkong girls across the corridor... one of them gave me a small box of choc! though i dun really hang out with them, i'll kinda miss them... wonder what my new neighbors will be like. i'm invited to visit HongKong! haha. tempting.
i got sent this email on some summer scholarship for Asian students thinking of working in the non-profit sector.. with some US non-profit org. hmm actually perfect for me! as in there is actually something i qualify for.. since most scholarships only sponsor US citizens. and i really want to do some non-profit sector job... but sadly u hav to secure an internship on ur own first... and then i've kinda promised my parents i'll go home and perhaps tour with them... so i dunno. but like so wasted. came a bit too late.

self reflection
i was told some time last week that i always seem to be in my own world.. so self-absorbed into it that i sometimes dun really realize that i'm not exactly really connecting with other ppl. hmm it's actually true to an extent. last sem, one visitor to our house actually named me 'cavewoman' cos i would talk to them but then after a short while feel the need to go back to my own room and just be alone.... i wonder why i'm like that. not that i'm excessively upset with myself or anything and it's true huh. i dun actively realize it. i prob talk so much more to myself than to other ppl, considering how i have been diligently blogging this past few months...actually i cannot really imagine myself saying all that i say on my blog to other ppl... maybe i feel that ppl aren't really that interested in what i have to say and i would rather be passive. when things are there for ppl to read, they can choose whether they want to know more about my life? but then again it's like expecting ppl to take the initiative to know you.. aiyah. dunno lah.
and i've also been thinking about my parents.. how every holiday i would think where should i travel to? what should i do to occupy my summer. the last thing on my mind these days would be to go home, cos like i think i would be confronted with boredom... and i never really think of it as going back to spend time with my family.. with my parents. i never really thought about how much they would like to have me back... not like we would really do anything, but my presence would just probably be enough. and i think i alwyas think, i only have 4 years abroad.. i should take the chance to travel and see as much as i want.. i can alwyas spend time with my parents after i graduate... cos i would be 'stuck' in sg... but then does it really justify me being less concerned about spending time with them during winter/summer holidays? would i do that to my friends? would i say... oh.. i know i will be able to see you in 2 years' time, so there's no point in us hanging out together now... perhaps i should treat everyone more equally.. should i just focus on the present and not the future that much? like appreciate whomever i have right now and give everyone the attention they deserve as my friend/family/ wherever they are, regardless of what's going to happen in future? i think that should be my philosophy in life from now on.... sounds too ambitious and too 'orderly' an attitude towards something so amorphous like human relationships huh.

am so glad to be indoors cos a snowstorm is raging outside right now. horrible horrible weather today! it was like in the 60s yesterday and i could go out with just 2 layers and this morning it prob dropped to low 30s... and esp horrible cos i had to brace the snow to get back to work and earlier this morning my roommates and i braced the cold rain to (once again! haha we are mad) make our way to the Senate Building. a different one this time, to catch Senator Hillary Clinton speak. cos my roommie heard that she's going to be on this Global Coalition on Women and AIDS panel today, cos it's International Women's Day or something.. and ya so we were kinda 'star-struck'... plus there was free breakfast again! a lil embarrassing though, to have to admit to other ppl at our table that we were kinda crashing the event... RSVPed.. but guess they could guess we weren't really there for the talk. oh well. she left after like a 4 min speech though. and so did we, 15 min after her... =P guess impt ppl are alwyas busy. she looks different in person.
i'm really bad... blogging at work! hav articles to read for class today and more sitting and reading all day....

i was unexpectedly overwhelmed with lotsa wang4 wang4s yesterday... along with many other asian titbits and thoughtful gifts from my dear friends at Berkeley... and yesterday i thought i wouldn't need to buy any more snacks for the rest of my stay here... but today i hav second thoughts, cos i think i devoured like at least 5 or 6 wang wangs and the packet of prawn crackers by this morning.... =P but nice to hav my familiar hello panda and instant noodles somewhere in the apartment.... =)
this afternoon, in an attempt to do some work, i went to Teaism to try to do some reading but ended up randomly chatting with this girl doing grad sch in Georgetown and not doing any work. but this place is my favorite hang out for now! intend to go there and try the diff teas and interesting food they hav... it's a really cool place i think... cos of the selection of food and general feel of the place. only wish it were a little closer to my center. I'm beginning to really like Dupont Circle...
and this evening i went to my Prof's house tog with some SAIS (Johns Hopkins University's School of Advanced International Studies, where my prof teaches) students for a documentary on the Tiananmen Incident in 1989, plus dinner... having been to a prof's house last sem i expected tasteful inner deco... wasn't disappointed as i was greeted with really cool drawings on walls, nice decor and various chinese paintings and paraphernalia... her house, in a way, was like a mini musuem too! she even had a Mao painting... but of course, though delighted with our compliments, my prof reminded us that they were collected over a long period of time and from various trips to diff places round the world... sat through two hours of (mostly) footage of events that happened in 1989 and interviews of key figures then and was rather overwhelmed by all the Chinese students then who really believed in what they did... like even though i wasn't there.. i could feel their passion... their agitation... and at some point in the documentary i suddenly felt so motivated to find out more about Chinese history... about what happened then and what events led up to it.... cos i really had little idea... more ideas for summer.. embark on self-imposed discover China course haha in Sg... cos parents dun allow me to do rural China thingy... sigh dunno. i'm so aimless.