sigh. have been resisting blogging about unhappy things but i shall make an exception today... dunno what happened to me today i suddenly just feel very down. bad mood. no mood to do anything. abandoned my astro hw after looking at the questions... and found out today too that i was supposed to come up with questions for poli sci section by today but kinda forgot about it and now desperately trying to read article but nothing seems to be going in. =(
and feel like i suddenly dun belong anywhere...am not capable of doing anything... dun excel in classes... bad driver... not very good company...eating lotsa junk food instead of dinner... flood of silly thoughts.

and so my grand plans to study after lunch went down the drain... ended up baking with jacqui and after that spent whole night watching bridget jones's diary on tv...it was fun though... i havne't baked for so long. and the cookies were rather yummy and i couldn't resist eating them one after another. i think i gained at least 500 calories eating all that junk...and couldn't resist walking away from the tv to do my polisci readings...
but rewatching bridget jone's diary was fun... there were still many bits which made me laugh.. bits which made me feel a bit 'aww...' like for a few seconds i wonder what it would be like if i knew someone like mr darcy... so straight-faced and seemingly nonchalant but actually loves bridget so much..., "just the way she is"... =P

thought i would hav nothing to blog about today but apparently my life is quite 'happening' haha. well.... i overslept today!! and sadly missed my IAS lecture AND the deadline to turn in the homework i stayed up all night to complete... i am so pissed with myself. i actually woke up at 820 am, but went back to sleep then when i woke up again to my horror it was 1106am.... now i get 2 out of 20 points docked off my hw and i will do badly cos dun even know if the answers are all correct. =( oh well but i mean it's my own doing... it also suddenly struck me while walking to my poli sci lecture this morning how i complained about this to no less than 3 ppl within 1.5 hrs of my waking up.... and i would hav complained to everyone who visits my blog and reads this entry!! why do ppl feel the need to complain? not that it helps undo whatever has been done...

there was this part in alfie that i liked.. when jude law describes how during his high sch days he was on a sch trip and he saw the statue of Aphrodite and he just stood in awe of it.. at how perfect and beautiful she was... but then somehow when he got closer he saw the cracks, the flaking off, the imperfections..... can't remb exactly what he said, but something along these lines.... how true it is, that sometimes when we get closer to ppl we dunno very well but think veyr highly of initially, we discover their flaws, their weaknesses... their imperfections. but i guess we can interpret this in another sense, sometimes we think ppl aren't very nice... yet when u get close to them u discover little things that make you really love them for who they are isn't it. who in the world is perfect? =)

managed to do some admin stuff this morning; figured out which organizations i wanted to apply to and sent out my first one to CARE international.... ok at least i did something... =) thought i would write more cover letters though but apparently i overestimated myself so ended up writing two only... nmind will continue next week.
then finally cooked after a long hiatus... but nothing complicated. fried ikan bilis and peanuts! tasted not bad i thought... made two batches.. one with chilli one without and i think i ate too much of the chilli ones and i am getting a sore throat now... but my peanuts could hav been crunchier and anchovies still crispier though. oh well. first try lah. =)
i am beginning to shift from feeling irritated at receiving so many non-profit org letters and freebies such as cards to feeling pity for the wasted efforts of these organizations... i will not be surprised if many individuals, upon receiving such things just dump them without even opening them.... such a waste of resources. perhaps instead of mailing things to ppl, they should divert their resources to more active fund-raising.... such that ppl will actually be pressured to donate.... i'm not saying that it's better to pressure ppl to donate, but i mean i think it might be more effective in raising funds?...