this week has just been terrible. yesterday saw my unlucky streak 'resurface'?! hmm dunno what i am talking about. but anyway, something really gross happened... i packed lunch into my bag... from channing chinese express.. i couldln't finish so i htought i would bring it home and maybe i can hav some for dinner.. so i put the whole paper bag in to my backpack and to my horror when i reached home i realized that the sauce and oil from the chicken dish i bought had spilled out and my whole bag was oily.. and stinky. my poor pencilcase, my wallet.. and even my textbook! now my textbooks smells faintly of chicken though i tried my best to salvage it. i washed my pencilcase and wallet and backpack and they are clean now; thank goodness.
i'm really in quite an awful mood now; not only because i have been so unlucky all week. but i'm upset about some things... though i'm going yosemite tomorrow i really wonder if i will enjoy myself. and because of this, all the more i feel bad because i hope i wun cause it to be less enjoyable for the people going with me. plus i can't help but feel ominous.... i pray hard that my bad luck wouldnt cause anything bad to happen on this trip. seriously. and a huge pile of homework await me too. why do bad things all happen at the same time?

am currently suffering from a series of petty injuries!! aargh. shang hen lei lei. hav blue blacks on both knees cos i tripped over my cables last week... then yest before i played frisbee i stepped into this hole in the grass and ended up with a nasty wound on my elbow that has refused to heal.. just applied the vicious but effective 'qing cao you' and hopefully it will heal soon =( and poked myself just now when i was peeling prawns to cook for dinner.... i am unbelievably clumsy recently. i feel sorry for myself...
going to yosemite national park this weekend! hope it will be fun... but then i hav mixed feelings because the latest hws have streamed in once again and i hope i wun hav to end up staying up too much next week. i hav gotten addicted to the apple cloud at the free speech cafe; i think i've eaten it twice.. or is it thrice this week?! this is quite bad, waste money eating fattening food. talkign about food, relieved that my sweet and sour tofu turned out pretty ok yesterday! and shiying passed her test =) shu just suggested that i go boston to look for her and then we can all drive up to niagara falls or something.... sounds really exciting. feel tempted =P told my mum about it but she's really worried. worried that something will happen to me when i fly alone to boston. just like when i flew alone to new york during spring break... i guess i can understand her worries... dunno if i should fly alone again. but i doubt anyone would want to go with me anyway so if i dun fly alone i wun be able to go on a holiday... feel really anxious though. that finals are in 2 weeks' time! time passes SO fast.. i do look forward to the day when i get to fly home... =)

was so unlucky today that i think i must hav done something wrong. offended someone.... haha. cannot really believe myself.. for being SO absent-minded all of a sudden... left the house in a hurry and realized i forgot my cellphone and lunchbox so had to come back to get it and i missed the early bus. then when i settled down in class, relieved that i arrived exactly at 810am, to my horror i found that i had left my pencilcase at home. so throughout the day i had to ask favors from ppl sitting beside me....then after class i went to the bank and to hav lunch and when i was walking to the bus stop i realized that my file was nowhere in sight... and i ended up walking all the way back to telegraph to hunt for my precious file... with all my notes and hw... to find that i left it at the counter in bank of america... well, though nothing exactly bad happened, i couldn't help but feel totally drained by all the little things that happened today =(
haha sometimes i think i think of the most ridiculous things.. like sometimes i'm just ultra sensitive and think of things to fault myself even when i hav done nothing wrong... why why... hav degraded to eating instant noodles today =P but tmr i shall attempt to replicate my sweet and sour tofu for shiying! =) hope she passes her driving tmr... =)

had a totally unproductive day today!! =( searched in vain for more tickets to chicago but found none... so prob wun be able to realize holiday plans... cleaned up my room a little.... baked scones for lunch.... it's pretty cool to hav an oven in the house, cos due to well stocked supermarts in the US u can easily buy all kinds of mixes and then produce pastries without much hassle =P next time when i hav more time then i shall experiment using real recipes.... then tried bread crumb coated chicken for dinner and it turned out pretty fine =) sigh. but just feel a general sense of 'xian-ness' yet not motivated to do any work. sigh. depressed.
just went for a ride in yingping's new car! his car is really big and spacious.. and the exterior looks really new and pretty sleek. now so many ppl hav cars.... at times i really do feel like getting a car too.... but then again sometimes i wonder if i should let peer pressure get me... as in i think that i am so 'domesticated' or like inactive sometimes that getting a car wouldn't be maximizing my utility.... and i might underutilise the car... my car might just be sitting there in the parking lot collecting dust =P really dunno. i think i'm getting more and more isolated somehow... dunno why i have that feeling though. quite strange. i think i'm quite strange i'm getting quite AS somehow?? dunno. and sometimes i seriously feel a lack of intelligence... aargh. self-deprecating thoughts again.
called my sis today... i realize that i seldom talk to her.. quite sad. and somehow though she tells me very non-serious and sometimes kiddish stuff i just feel fun playing along with her... =) feel that i have somewhat neglected many relationships with ppl back home... i seriously hope that when i go back in dec i wouldn't feel that there is a serious lack of conversation topics... cos i will be very sad if that happens. somehow i jsut have a feeling that i'm gettin somewhat socially inadept. i dunno why too.... maybe it's cos i hardly talk much to ppl nowadays? hmmm where does all my self-doubt arise from....i think sometiems its so deceptive. like sometimes u just get disillusioned with urself.. then u need someone to tell reassure u that u are fine etc... but then again when ppl console u they tend to say nicer things, things that will lift ur spirits so it may not be true in the first place. but then sometiems somehow we feel better to have heard such 'nice' things.... and i'ts not to say that these ppl are really deceiving u or anything, they are nice to be there for u definitely... hmm nmind i think i am just getting incoherent, too late at night.....