This week I met a record no. of "new ppl"... particularly old acquaintances you used to know but have lost contact for a long long time. Actually I realised that I like meeting up with people and finding out how they are doing, just that I can be AS at times/ too un-energetic to keep going out. Ppl's appearances (nor characters) generally dun change that much... even after not seeing some ppl for a year or so, you realise that they are still pretty much like that... hehe. ok so vague, but yeah... Whenever we had occasional batch gatherings, I used to sometimes feel small in the midst of 'successful' Berkeley peers with high earning power/more high-profile jobs etc... used to be rather afraid of ppl's judging eyes... however, yest I found myself caring less about how well other ppl were doing. Was there really a need to measure one's self-worth against others? In a strange way, I felt like I was able to hold my head up high being the way I am... to be more discerning about things that really mattered to me...

Bad patch

A stressful this week and next week notwithstanding, I did a really silly thing tonight. Was too lazy to cut my nails despite having to perform the shimin's-nemesis-act of taking out my disposable contacts. So as usual, I was trying pretty hard to remove the lenses... After several attempts, got the right lens out fairly successfully. Phew. But the left one, no matter how hard I tried to open the left eye, there was still barely enough 'space' for my finger to get a good grip of the slippery lens. (I always wonder if ppl with big eyes have it easy) So in the end give up, dun care... use fingernails (though I knew i should'nt). In the end got it out... but then.. TO MY HORROR, I realised after getting it out that there was a hole in the middle of the lens. So I had torn the lens in the process of pinching it out, and the broken piece of lens was nowhere to be found. Aargh... then frantically like splashed lotsa water into left eye. Dunno out or not. Cannot feel it in eye, but what if it's just stuck at the other side of eye... Perhaps I'll just be both stressed and blind soon. :(

Conclusion: I still can't master art of wearing the elusive slippery disposable lens. Want to be vain also fail... better resign to fate of wearing specs.

While on one hand I feel heartened to be given several new responsibilities recently, on the other hand I also feel secretly apprehensive cos many things are really new to me and I have no idea how to go about doing them. For responsibilities directly work-related, I am thankful to have a bunch of really helpful and supportive colleagues. As for more open-ended kinda responsibilites, at times really feel at loss with no one to turn to. It's like trying to swim in deep waters with this huge fear of drowning..! Naturally, there's some pressure to perform up to expectations and maybe I stress myself unnecessarily... I suppose at times like this I wished I were the sort with more ppl I could really talk to or confide in. In the absence of which... perhaps the next best thing to do is just do whatever you need to do and be more thick-skinned lah. Hmm what's the worst that can happen? I can't even really get fired.... :P