am so so tired today... and my eyelids keeps 'jumping'.... haha old + superstitious ppl always say that is a sign of something bad happening.. but cannot remb whether it's the left or right eyelid that symbolises ominous events. but my right eyelid keeps 'jumpin'....i dunno what's wrong with me. keep taking such long periods of time to do my homework and figure things out, that even when i have a lot of time i end up doign so little. sigh.... i feel stressed.
received jun's thank you card and it really made my day, getting a nice card from someone who appreciates the little things u did =P and a nice email from jeannez consoling me and telling me not to be so pessimistic =P feel like going back to sg now and thanking them! but meanwhile i still hav lessons till 5pm... with only a half hour break + an unfinished econ prob set.... plus i hav readings to do when i get home but i am not so sure i will not sucuumb to temptation of switching on my laptop again at night and end up not doing anything again... i think i am really not that busy, as compared to many of my peers who have to say work or do other stuff too... but yet i dun seem to be able to manage my time that well....

had lunch with elaine and it was really nice seeing her again after so long... =) ever since i moved out of the dorms i never really talked much to her... well actulaly i think after i moved out of the dorms i hardly kept in touch with any of my dorm mates at all. quite sad, well but then again even if i do see them ti's just a casual hi and we dun really hav that much in common to talk about either.... one day i shall try to cook for elaine! =) though i dun really know her that well, yet i feel very comfortable talking to her somehow.
these days i feel increasingly kong xu, that my life is really dry... i think i study too much... or rather i think about work and hardly do any other extra curricular stuff. so i think i'll do participate in krayola again this sem and hopefully do something meaningful for the kids by teaching them art and craft... and i have also neglected things that i was once interested in, such as sign language.... i guess the sad thing is that once u stop doing something, u are not likely to pick it up again unless someone comes along and has the same interest and both of u decide to do things together.... like i think i need to be more active... instead of waiting passively for things to happen. eg. i think it's usually jacqui who asks me if i want to bake, ppl asking me if i want to go for lunch; i think i seldom take the initiative to ask ppl to do things with me..... esp here. dunno why too... maybe i'm just afraid of rejections.... so much so that it prevents me from even trying. that's bad. it shall be my resolution of the week, to be more involved in my own life.. hmm ok sounds weird..... sigh but i always resolve to do things but never really follow through or realize any of my goals... =P

tried cooking two new dishes yesterday! red braised tofu and teriyaki salmon.... haha sadly yesterday's dishes all turned out somewhat wrong... the shrimp paste that i normally use went mouldy and as a result had to resort to the other shrimp paste and i put too much and mmy kangkong was too salty =P and red braised tofu was a little too salty too... haha and amusingly no one could recognize the salmon as salmon. my guests thought it was some other fish... haha quite funny. depleted a lot of soy sauce yest =P
went to library today and tried to do work... and though i really tried, i didnt end up completing a lot. prob being i spent such a long time trying to comprehend stuff.... and long time doing my prob sets as well. i sometimes can't help but think i am SLOW... oh well. getting quite sccared now that homeworks are starting to get heavy.... was actually thinking of doing krayola again this sem... but now maybe not. maybe with my spare time i can attempt to master yu jian.... =) i really love sun yanzi's yu jian. xiang zuo zou xiang you zou is out in sg but i can't watch it... very sad =( aargh. went to play piano today and somehow it revived my love for piano haha. i think i am very 'san fen zhong re du' sometimes.... like when i happen to go do something and i enjoy it i will be very ahppy, and think that i wil do it again next time. but the next tiem sometime never comes.......