my efforts to gai guo zi xin have been heartening so far, but can be better.... 1) still in a pretty healthy state of mind, not getting upset over wu liao things... 2) still haven really lagged in my readings... well i almost did today actually... but woke up early to finish my 30/90 pages of Samuel Huntington... though somewhat superficially. i realized that if i were to religiously do all my assignments and hw I would really be much better off and knowledgeable. regretfully i haven't reached that jing4 jie4.
i really enjoyed jap today; we were taught the informal jap conversation... and though it's tough! like so many forms to remember, it was quite fun... like to speak with all these contractions etc. then during poli sci section today, i managed to squeeze in like one sentence of my thoughts.... what with like 20 ppl rattling off about how samuel huntington emphasizes the importance of institutions etc.... but actually it's still rather stressful... everyone in my section is like super vocal and eloquent... and i mean like even though i did my reading, i didn't hav like half as many things to say... goodness knows how lost i would be had i been lazy..
also discovered a possible way of destressing yesterday when i went down to the Berkeley Animal Shelter at 2nd street...volunteering by playing with cats or walking dogs.. i'll just need to do a min. of one hour per week... and on top of that, I can go at any time that fits into my schedule. this weekend they will hold cat handling and dog walking classes and i think i'll go for them =) if i dun grow xian and lazy that is. the shelter has many many pit bulls though that look rather unfriendly and fierce, but I think some of them do hav really loveable personalities and I hope that perhaps one day if i get to deal with dogs well enough, i can like 'transcend' this psychological barrier (that they look fierce or ugly and therefore they are not nice) and try to get to know them better!! haha but that seems really far-fetched and idealisitic at this moment cos i get a little intimidated just by standing close to some large barking dogs... hmm i was just telling jacqui how cats and dogs are like humans too... like cats are like the loner types.. then dogs need more attention and love... and perhaps pit bulls are like uglier ppl... then like cute kittens are like the really popular and chio ppl... even in the animal world life is unfair huh. but i am comforted by how there are many ppl who love all of them regardless of appearances..

finally wrote my statement of purpose for UCDC this morning. one more EAP one to go... sigh. why do we hav to always write statements of purpose?? and explain every single reason why i want to go for EAP... sometimes u just feel like doing something.. =( now i actually feel that I am more keen to do UCDC cos I was browsing through the courses available at Meiji Gakuin and the variety is actually somewhat limited. but i guess EAP would be more of a fun thing, a cultural exchange.... rather than something really academic?
i really feel more at ease with myself recently. like I have grown to accept myself for who i am. instead of getting upset over my faults... i still do, but noticeably less so. i wonder why...
though sch has just started... I have 80 pages of Samuel Huntington to plough through for my poli sci class next week... new IAS hw due on thursday... the usual Jap hw.... Astro HW on friday... but still manageable. and i'm pretty excited about my first yoga PE class tmr =) let's hope i dun sprain my waist or ankle..