I walked into a beautiful sunset on my way home...Thursday, February 02, 2006
sometimes i really wonder if my ability to make judgments about issues/encounters becomes severely impaired by my emotional side. today i found myself getting really upset after some comments from a professor regarding my research approach... i'm wondering if i'm now feeling more discouraged than i really ought to because I took things personally too? probably because of the fact that i resolved last week to work hard on thesis and care less about trivial emotional stuff... only to find that even so, 'purely academic' things can make me upset too. And I dunno how i should really assess situation; did professor say what he did because of personal biases? i mean to certain extent what he said was his opinion and i am entitled to my own.... yet you have to concede that professors are probably more well-informed and familiar with their own fields of interest and probably have good reasons for being disapproving of certain things...
i guess one thing that really bothered me though was that I could tell he seemed pretty reluctant to discuss stuff with me (though at least was still pretty professional, but gave rather curt replies; i mean i am not totally insensitive so i kinda got the point...) and i dunno if it was because i was being very bothersome or was it just cos he disliked my research approach? The horrible thing is though is that I do enjoy his lectures (i've just been sitting in cos i'm interested) and for a moment i thought of just not going anymore. but then again, that's rather immature cos seriously I do learn things from his lectures lah; and i would be penalizing myself from learning new and useful things... so i have to be less childish and still go. ok. so long-winded. in short, I just thought he seemed negative about what I had to ask and me being overly sensitive to negative attitudes in other ppl got (unnecessarily?) upset...
what did i learn? 1) perhaps self-regulate and get less upset when other ppl dun seem to hold very positive views of me/what I want to do 2) try not to be discouraged, cos maybe i can prove that my way isn't that bad after all? 3) be more accepting of different POVs.... you know, I acknowledge at the back of my mind that diversity of opinions can be good. yet i can get unwittingly upset when ppl disagree... i think i tend to take disagreement too personally sometimes. how to change that... i dunno. slowly i guess.
i guess one thing that really bothered me though was that I could tell he seemed pretty reluctant to discuss stuff with me (though at least was still pretty professional, but gave rather curt replies; i mean i am not totally insensitive so i kinda got the point...) and i dunno if it was because i was being very bothersome or was it just cos he disliked my research approach? The horrible thing is though is that I do enjoy his lectures (i've just been sitting in cos i'm interested) and for a moment i thought of just not going anymore. but then again, that's rather immature cos seriously I do learn things from his lectures lah; and i would be penalizing myself from learning new and useful things... so i have to be less childish and still go. ok. so long-winded. in short, I just thought he seemed negative about what I had to ask and me being overly sensitive to negative attitudes in other ppl got (unnecessarily?) upset...
what did i learn? 1) perhaps self-regulate and get less upset when other ppl dun seem to hold very positive views of me/what I want to do 2) try not to be discouraged, cos maybe i can prove that my way isn't that bad after all? 3) be more accepting of different POVs.... you know, I acknowledge at the back of my mind that diversity of opinions can be good. yet i can get unwittingly upset when ppl disagree... i think i tend to take disagreement too personally sometimes. how to change that... i dunno. slowly i guess.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I finally watched Ang Lee's widely acclaimed Brokeback Mountain last Friday and found it extremely saddening... and one line just lingered on in my head (and perhaps in many other ppl's heads too)... "I wish i knew how to quit you"--such a simple statement but says so much... it was a good movie. unfortunately i watched it when i was extremely tired... and sometimes i couldn't catch their accents. but.... even then you can get a lot out of it... and so i was just randomly surfing and realized that Heath Ledger (one of lead actors) starred as the romantic guy in 10 things I Hate About You too! and i remember really liking that movie (and his character in a very 'infatuated' kind of way)... but it's those kind of romantic teen movies...but a decent sort in this genre...haha. i shall hunt it down and watch it again when i have time... =P
Monday, January 30, 2006
Newly inspired
maybe Starbucks had this going for some time already, but it was only this morning while reading at Starbucks did i notice a quote printed on one side of my paper cup... and it said The Way I See it #61. It was a quote from Bill Brummel (a documentary film maker interested in human rights issues)
i thought it was such a cool idea... and i happened to get a very cool quote too. and so i've decided to rename my blog after this thingy.... =P so the next time you go to Starbucks, take a min or two to see what quote you get!
i also decided to check out the website to look for more quotes, and i chanced upon this other quote (under my new title) which means a lot to me ... given that i've actually been pondering over some of my own actions directly related to what the author was saying. Here are some bits from an interview... "it struck me that most of life is a series of reciprocal trade agreements: I give you this. You give me that. Teaching and parenting are the only exception. A teacher or parent gives, and what they get is the unparalleled experience of giving without expectation – the soul-gratifying experience of planting a tree from which you will never pluck the fruit." Later he continues, "Whether in the schoolroom, the living room, the bedroom, or the boardroom, loving forward is life’s most noble adventure. Love is a ladder; it allows us to climb out of ourselves." I think much as i try not to, i am still guilty of wanting some form of reciprocation from ppl i like... and sometimes it unwittingly gets into your head so much that, you know, you become upset when ppl dun seem to care... perhaps the way forward (to becoming a better person) is to just be more da4 liang4... and be less 'petty'.... (it's different from being bochap and indifferent, btw) easy to say but hard to do i guess. but it's really a worthwhile goal to work towards. =)
maybe Starbucks had this going for some time already, but it was only this morning while reading at Starbucks did i notice a quote printed on one side of my paper cup... and it said The Way I See it #61. It was a quote from Bill Brummel (a documentary film maker interested in human rights issues)
Imagine we are all the same. Imagine we agree about politics, religion and
morality. Imagine we like the same types of music, art, food and coffee. Imagine
we all look alike. Sound boring? Differences need not divide us. Embrace
diversity. Dignity is everyone's human right.
i thought it was such a cool idea... and i happened to get a very cool quote too. and so i've decided to rename my blog after this thingy.... =P so the next time you go to Starbucks, take a min or two to see what quote you get!
i also decided to check out the website to look for more quotes, and i chanced upon this other quote (under my new title) which means a lot to me ... given that i've actually been pondering over some of my own actions directly related to what the author was saying. Here are some bits from an interview... "it struck me that most of life is a series of reciprocal trade agreements: I give you this. You give me that. Teaching and parenting are the only exception. A teacher or parent gives, and what they get is the unparalleled experience of giving without expectation – the soul-gratifying experience of planting a tree from which you will never pluck the fruit." Later he continues, "Whether in the schoolroom, the living room, the bedroom, or the boardroom, loving forward is life’s most noble adventure. Love is a ladder; it allows us to climb out of ourselves." I think much as i try not to, i am still guilty of wanting some form of reciprocation from ppl i like... and sometimes it unwittingly gets into your head so much that, you know, you become upset when ppl dun seem to care... perhaps the way forward (to becoming a better person) is to just be more da4 liang4... and be less 'petty'.... (it's different from being bochap and indifferent, btw) easy to say but hard to do i guess. but it's really a worthwhile goal to work towards. =)
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Happy New Year!
though it's still officially New Year's Eve on my side... it's New Year for the Sg/UK ppl and so... xin nian kuai le to all my dear friends. =) not doing anything special for New Year... perhaps just going for some Singaporean dinner at one of junior's houses. went with Jacqui to Chinatown this morning to look at some CNY fair... but it disappeared.. so ended up buying food from Oakland Chinatown. there were snaking lines of ppl queueing up for shao1 la4 and stuff... just for fun, i bought some char siew for my housemates to try... the funniest comments (but it's perfectly understandable for him to ask the questions he did) were from Kai-- why is it red? I think it's blood... which part of the pig is this from? but despite the doubtful comments he just popped pieces into his mouth anyways and actually found it pretty yummy... =)
though it's still officially New Year's Eve on my side... it's New Year for the Sg/UK ppl and so... xin nian kuai le to all my dear friends. =) not doing anything special for New Year... perhaps just going for some Singaporean dinner at one of junior's houses. went with Jacqui to Chinatown this morning to look at some CNY fair... but it disappeared.. so ended up buying food from Oakland Chinatown. there were snaking lines of ppl queueing up for shao1 la4 and stuff... just for fun, i bought some char siew for my housemates to try... the funniest comments (but it's perfectly understandable for him to ask the questions he did) were from Kai-- why is it red? I think it's blood... which part of the pig is this from? but despite the doubtful comments he just popped pieces into his mouth anyways and actually found it pretty yummy... =)
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