i will really miss my cool school... we had 2003 Nobel Peace Prize Winner Shirin Ebadi drop by yesterday afternoon, and also just sat in a discussion with famous war photographer James Nachtwey earlier this evening... when will i have the privilege of listening to distinguished and inspiring individuals at my doorstep ever again? :( also had a free IAS sponsored lunch with my thesis professor and class, and people seem to be going on to all sorts of cool interesting things/jobs. i just find it very inspiring that more than half the class is going to do something related to international development... these high-flyers in my thesis class actually made me feel somewhat depressed for one afternoon, but fortunately i didn't remain very upset for too long. i guess instead of somewhat envying what exciting lives ppl are going to be leading, i should just make the best of what's laid out in front of me... and making the best of that can be rewarding too. also found out that my thesis prof actually thinks that Singapore has the best food, generally, anywhere. i felt a very odd sense of joy, despite having totally under-explored all the food places back home! well, i guess that's one thing on my agenda when i return....

stress!

maybe i'm just finding excuses for myself, but there are so many things on my mind now that i find it pretty impossible to sit down and concentrate on studying for finals... plus i guess i wun get any 'peace of mind' till i sell my car :( and have been trying to meet up with ppl for meals these past couple of days, since ppl prob wun be available once finals and commencement start. and will prob be super busy when family arrives next Monday. not too surprisingly, HDB doesn't really mind having their scholar start work earlier, and one consolation for me is perhaps that the rough posting plan i just received actually seems somewhat interesting.... :) in meantime, can't wait for ought-to-be-happy-but-highly-stressful period to be over! i REALLY yearn for some one or two weeks where i get to do anything i want and have nothing to worry about at all.

at times i can't help but be thankful for my taciturn nature. esp when you know that saying too much can easily make you end up saying unintentionally bad things you didn't mean to say. yet i can't help but kick myself too, cos reserved as i am, i slip accidentally from time to time. aargh. perhaps it's also "mind control" rather than "mouth restraint" :P

and so i didn't get my Japanese homestay... i guess i never really imagined how disappointed i would be, but it turns out that i'm feeling really rather disappointed. and now there's more headachey planning to do... should i still visit Japan to tour? should i just stay a lil while more here? should i just go home and slack? or should i start work a little earlier.... oh well. perhaps i should look on the brighter side. and still aim to improve my Japanese when i get home...

still afflicted with senioritis, i went shopping in SF today; bought two things from H&M; had late lunch with Jing; came back and spent 1.5 hours chatting online at night and gobbled up half my packet of remaining choc chips meant for baking.... and did no work at all... i have to admit that despite having committed all these frivolous 'crimes'..... i feel rather happy... but yeah, i think from tmr onwards i should start doing something to rescue myself from being 'conquered' by this disease.... and chang tong bu ru duan tong... all shall be over in 2 weeks... and then the real break will begin.