Now that I am on the other side and have to bake every single day the rest of the month with hardly any time nor energy to do other things during the day, I really wished I could just bake for leisure. The so-called 'dream job' is turning into a nightmare this month, and I feel like I have generally under-charged and underpaid :( I hope I survive the rest of the month, can somehow manage to keep healthy/sane and not end up too sleep-deprived...

I've recently developed some kind of attachment for cats, and I suspect it's because of how graceful and beautiful these creatures can be. I guess I am shallow that way :P Regardless whether they are strays or not, they all sit in a certain elegant manner, sleep so cutely and can make faces that make you go awww. Not all cats are equal though - some cats look more devious than others. E.g. there's always this lean cat sitting tall on the bonnet of some car every time I walk to the MRT and I swear he has a slightly evil look and stare!

Recently one guy started hanging out at my garden. Not IN my garden to be exact, but along the perimeter of my house - usually sleeping or just lazing and watching the world go by. He (or she) is the only cat I don't actively try to shoo out of my house - for whatever reasons. His fur seems to be somewhat ruffled/ imperfect and maybe deep down it made me feel sorry for him. I wouldn't want to be a stray - with nowhere to go, no one to like me etc. And so I decided to let him be. Share my garden - until he decides to be ungrateful and poo in my garden.

Earlier this week - I saw him hanging out again, and I decided to bring him some milk. After some initial hesitation (and after I hid behind my gate), he came forward to drink from the container! And I was thrilled to bits seeing him lick the milk with his little tongue. The guy got disinterested in the milk after a while, but I felt happy to have made his evening a little better that day (so I think). BUT - we are yet to be friends. He definitely keeps a distance, and I don't push it either. As with humans, I guess relationships take time to develop!

And so here's Part I of my juvenile and amateurish cat adventures. Not sure if I will get to Part II, but if there's any significant development worthy of an update, you will hear it here :P  Enjoy the rest of the week!

This afternoon I received the first cheque ever for a batch of 220 cookies I baked for a customer/friend. Seriously it was not a lot of money - but I felt pretty emotional about it. A really tangible feeling that I had worked really hard to earn it!

To be honest, I have not felt this way about my paycheck in a long time, probably not since my very first paycheck. As a salaried civil servant the money typically "appears" in your bank account without fail you eventually start to take a decent and stable stream of income for granted. And I never really thought that I would appreciate and actually miss this sense of financial security.

You know how parents always caution "that money is not easy to make"- I can definitely identify with that right now! From a financial point of view, that's probably not something I should be too happy about. On the other hand, it also puts things into perspective; and makes me think about others who don't have it easy yet have to grit their teeth to eke out a living - how it must be like for them..

It's back to the 'daily grind' after an extended holiday!

These days, I don't shop much for clothes - so while I was in land of high street labels I ended up frequenting the supermarkets the most. Selfridges food hall; Waitrose; M&S... I think 2/3 of my 'spoils' from the trip were groceries/ baking-related stuff. Madness! At times I got so carried away thinking I'd need XX ingredient for some imaginary cake that I haven't even conceptualised properly - that I bought quite a few things first before really knowing what I'd use them for! Am also running out of storage space in my kitchen! That's a kiasu baker for you :P

Am trying to cook up a Christmas menu of sorts this week/ next week. I've already had a few failed attempts last week, hopefully my luck will improve this week! I literally think about what cakes to make/ try all day long... So while I don't have a 9-5 job for now, life is pretty stressful too, in a pretty different way. I suppose I should be happy/ relieved that I am still relatively passionate about baking - and hopefully it will somehow work out monetarily in the longer term...

A month in cakes

It's been quite busy the past one month - after 25 cake orders and one pop-up sale I think I am ready for a break! And so we are off to a holiday in Croatia/ London (mainly Croatia) to recharge :) And I hope to come home refreshed and full of good ideas for my Christmas menu! Though tiring, I am quite thankful to have been blessed with decently good business and hopefully the orders will keep coming in.

To family and friends who got something from me, thanks for being so nice and supportive. I really appreciate it; and certainly won't be mad if you choose to order cakes from cake shops from time to time :P Guess most of us appreciate some kind of variety/novelty once in a while, but do help me to spread the word!

Here's a few photos of the month past, in cakes (all photos taken with my iPhone) :)

Part of an order of 4 items for 3 birthday boys - raspberry white chocolate muffins and chamomile lavender cupcakes

A cream cheese rosette chocolate cake for E's mum's birthday. Made this more diabetic-friendly with less sugar and special low glycemic index (GI) sugar, since her dad is on a diabetic diet.

Our little pop-up sale at Merely Ice Cream on 21 Sep. The husband was nice and supportive, and helped to co-man the little stall the entire afternoon!

This has to be the cutest cake I made in the past month - a rilakkuma strawberry shortcake for a 1-yr old girl :)

A dark chocolate olive oil cake an ex-colleague bought to thank her son's teacher for PSLE coaching. 

D's friends have been pretty supportive of my baked goods, and one of them pre-ordered three things I was going to bake for my pop-up sale. And so I spent the whole of today baking; and felt like dying collapsing at the end of the day. Achy feet, backache, rough hands - so this is what full-time baking feels like! Sigh - this is also my most lowly-paid job since I started working!

I also spent close to an hour this morning trying to figure out how to get my new Cuisinart food processor to chop nuts nicely, only to realise at the end of it that I am still better off hand-chopping my pecans and walnuts. The food processor (even at the chop setting) is far too powerful and chops my nuts into minuscule pieces quickly (so you don't feel any nut crunch when biting into the cake), or if I don't chop them so much they remain large and unevenly chopped. Zesting is another task I now do regularly (since I like things fresh) - and i think it's about time to get a better/ more ergonomically designed zester so as to be nicer to my hands/ fingers :P

It was satisfying though to pack all my lovingly baked goods away nicely into boxes etc, but baking full-time is really tiring. Perhaps I would get used to it - I can't possibly be giving up after 2 weeks :P Anyways, today was an unusually xiong1 day - though it would be worse on Friday preparing for the 21 Sept bake sale. What did I get myself into?! OK I shall quit complaining and try to recuperate a little the next two days and plan less physically demanding tasks! :)

The new improved and beautified version of my date pecan walnut loaf (made with spelt flour!) with cream cheese frosting and toasted nuts

Chamomile lavender cupcakes, blueberry lemon almond cake + date pecan loaf

This is my first week as an OMO cake lady; and thankfully I've been relatively motivated and disciplined so far! I have to admit too that it's great to have a flexible schedule, and not have to waste my time and energy getting upset over annoying people you cannot change. Of course, it can get a little lonely at times, but that's something I can still manage ok :)

I've finalised and sent in my namecard design for printing, and also started to think about what to offer at my pop-up bakery later this month! Also started experimenting possible new offerings, one of which is likely to be the earl grey lavender cupcake with honey swiss meringue buttercream frosting. I also want to create a minimalist Japanese-influenced photography style for my cakes, and this is the first of many photos that I hope to take!

Today I 心血来潮, and decided to drag mum, sis and D to go watch 我的朋友，我的同学，我爱过的一切 together. I don't really know many 新谣 songs, but it reminded me how Chinese songs and lyrics can be really nice and meaningful :) Coincidentally, the movie also made several references to my favorite quote in one of my favorite books! The ending was quite blah though :P

Anyways, I think this is the nicest song in the movie.

It's been a packed but fulfilling long weekend :)

Thurs and Fri were mostly spent fulfilling cake orders - actually it all started on Wed night. Finished one cake then and then another cake cum 12 cupcakes the next morning. The cake marathon continued on Fri where I spent half the day making a cake for a church friend's one-year old child. While I generally prefer to do simple/ elegant-looking cakes, somehow this cute elephant cake won me quite a few new fans. And I found myself in a difficult position - perhaps I should learn to be more flexible, and it seems like anything that will make kids happy is likely to sell pretty well...

We also did a short staycation at New Majestic hotel on Sat night; and explored the familiar neighbourhood of Tanjong Pagar after dinner. Quite a few cool-looking places have popped up in the area since my MND days, and we managed to get some seats for brunch at a nice new cafe in the area this morning. Our Sunday ended on a shiok but unhealthy note at Satay Club besides Gardens by the Bay :)

So sad that this is the end of the nice long weekend; but oh well, I shouldn't be complaining since I've taken the plunge to leave my job and it wouldn't be that long before I regain my flexible schedule again :)

Useful quote for the day:

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves - Carl Jung

It felt good earlier this month to see my bank account balance stop bleeding, but somehow something feels amiss; and I have been feeling a little down about having to work with people who stress me up, who don't appear to value/ like me for who I am, and over a hundred other trivial reasons. Despite the down times, there were occasional rainbows - eg. when my Dad-of-few-words tried to give me some work/life advice. Dad also claims that these tough times will make me stronger, since I'd been spoilt and overprotected by them since young. I don't necessarily disagree with his assessment of my work situation, but only wished it could be a bit easier. Then again, not everyday is bad, and I should just stop whining and be thankful for the happy things I can be happy about! :P

Weekends feel really precious now and I have been having Sun night blues the past few weeks. The work week really tires me out and though I wish I could rest on the weekends I am still trying to keep the little cake business going and so I haven't been resting very much either. Was very 'in the zone' yesterday and baked 3 cakes - 2 for sale and 1 for self-consumption... :) Hoping very hard that most weekends can be as work-free as the one just past, and that I'd soon be able to find a nice balance between work and pursuit of personal interests!

It's a quiet weekend for me - with D off to fancy places for his study trip and me home alone and trying to reconcile and settle into my new (working) life.

Baking for cake orders yesterday was pretty therapeutic on Fri night after a self-assessed not so good day; but the 2nd leg of the baking on Sat morning/ afternoon got somewhat out of hand and caused some temporary anxiety ha. Thankfully all went pretty well in the end and the 2nd weekend order post starting work was successfully delivered. Am in two minds about continuing with baking, esp since the new job is likely to be heavy-going, but I suppose I will just work at it for as long as I can take it!

Also had a leisurely Father's Day lunch with family, and caught up with their adventures at RWS Marine Life earlier in the week. I feel like I have been growing more emotional/sentimental with 'age' and simple pleasures like spending time and catching up with family make me feel contented and happy. Maybe it's also this desire to want to remain connected/ close despite not being physically close anymore.

I have pretty mixed feelings about my new job. While there are several issues I genuinely find interesting (eg. how to attract the really needier ones and not the health conscious types to go for health screening ), some self-imposed stress and little insecurities are getting to me again. And so it's been a bit of a tough start... Must keep reminding myself to be positive and care less about what others think!

It's back to the daily grind for me this week and it feels like my pace of life tripled overnight. It's been ages since I last saw 30 new emails overnight and honeymoon period was practically non-existent :( on the other hand, it was nice to learn new things - just better if there's a bit more time to absorb..!

Now to destress - am on my way to a Jay Chou concert compliments of nice sis! :)

This will be my last week of rest! It suddenly feels surreal to start work again, and a little part of me feels a little worried if I will suddenly find myself unable to get used to working :P I suppose it will be rather tiring initially, but will probably get used to it soon enough.

The last week also feels very precious and I thought quite hard what I might want to do in the last week. In the end, I couldn't really think of anything I REALLY REALLY wanted to do (eg. check out some corner of Singapore worth visiting) before starting work. Maybe it's a sign that I have rested long enough heh. I figured that I will probably continue with some baking experiments, try to spend time with my parents, read a little and just chill. And maybe hunt for a chio laptop bag so that I won't have to lug the ugly black one that typically comes with the issued laptop :)

I have been feeling quite murderous towards grasshoppers lately - after finding numerous grasshopper droppings on my hydrangea pots and even some stuck on my front (sliding) doors!

Thought I had seen the last of the 2 resident grasshoppers (which I caught and threw out) but I discovered a third one this morning!!! I had better double the pesticide dosage. Sadly the damage is already done and it annoys me immensely to see black speckles all over the leaves, flower petals etc.

I hate garden pests!!

After some 3 months of procrastination, I finally got down to taking a new photo for my new IC; and uploading various scanned files for the online application. After a few failed attempts to upload photos, I finally succeeded in submitting the application. YAY. And my new address can finally and concurrently be updated haha.

The job search has also come to an end, and I will probably be back to an office life in a couple of weeks' time. I think it's about time even though I still haven't quite figured out what I really want to do. I suppose it will have to be an ongoing process and who knows, perhaps the new job will help me figure that out too.

My baking may take a back seat, but I will try my best to keep the little flame alive! I've been pretty hardworking in my kitchen - at least in the past week or two :) Check out some of my Mother's Day bakes on my food blog or on my FB page :)

I really need to exercise more and watch my diet henceforth :(

Before I knew it, it's already been a week since we came home!

In the week past, besides doing loads of laundry, I went for my first jog in a month (yes, sigh), checked out Tsukada Nojo's curious Bijin Nabe (collagen hot pot) with J, S & 'M', baked 3 cakes (one of which was for sale!) and resumed job hunting efforts. 

In other (happy) news, my little FB cake page is gaining more followers. Help me spread the word too if you like what you see! Also - head over to my food blog for some shots of a lovely cafe we visited in Queenstown during our NZ trip :)

We were blessed with lovely weather for our horseride through some Lord of The Rings film locations this morning in Glenorchy, a scenic small town near Queenstown, NZ.

Lunch at a local cafe was fantastic - had a most delicious grilled vegetable sandwich and chicken salad under the warm sun outdoors :) We also treated ourselves to a sinfully chocolatey but heavenly-tasting slice of brownie. Aargh, at this rate am pretty sure I will return home with a few extra pounds...

We had some luck with the weather yesterday and D got to visit his Hobbiton movie set after all :) today was a little cloudy and occasionally drizzly, but we managed to catch some really pretty glimpses of autumn during our long drive!

It's Day 3 of our New Zealand trip and we haven't been too lucky with the weather. It's been raining everyday, even in Whakatane - supposedly NZ's sunniest city. And so even our plans to visit a volcano island tmr morning had to be ditched :(

The first anniversary trip is starting to remind me of my honeymoon, weather-wise! It's not supposed to be raining all the time now! Hopefully it will turn sunnier, warmer soon..

In between job-hunting and trip-planning the past week, I suddenly came down with fever on Sunday afternoon - and it went up to a high of 40C last night! The fever has been on and off (typically in 3-4 hour blocks); and when the fever is really bad I just cannot muster any energy to do anything at all.. Though I seem to have one/ two other symptoms dengue patients seem to exhibit, we are praying hard it is not dengue... It's too early to tell though. Aargh :(

Here are some photos from our cooking class with local 'celebrity chef' Sam Leong and his wife Forest, at their new restaurant Forest at RWS. And hehe it was chilli crab, not black pepper crab.

The session starts off with a 4-course modern Chinese set lunch at their restaurant (the food was really delicious, we'd definitely go back again), followed by the cooking demo and a little hands-on for participants. Forest taught us how to make red ruby (yay, I will try it next time for house parties) while the husband shared his chilli crab recipe with us. The chilli crab tasted really good (they gave us fresh fleshy Sri Lankan crabs) but we're quite doubtful if we would ever be up to killing live crabs at home. Suspect we'll at most attempt chilli prawns if we're feeling hardworking (preparing blending the various ingredients for the sauce is a lot of work!)

a murderous moment.. 

blended ingredients to go into the sauce.. 

I really liked Forest as she was very sincere and personable. I really didn't expect her to be so warm since you know, they are celebrity chefs... Sam was relatively funny and approachable too, but I still like his wife better. Was pretty surprised/impressed too that the chefs themselves did the washing up after the demos. 

Btw, don't you think Forest looks like a certain local politician?? :P

On a not-so-related note, you can head over to my other blog for some photos of my exam bakes for my professional baking class, if you're interested to take a look! :)

Finally - tomorrow will be the last day of class! And it will be no-stress last day since our exam (today) is over! It's been pretty hectic baking 6 days a week; and I am most happy to take a break from:

-  waking up early for class and standing most of the day
-  dishwashing and scrubbing stubborn cake batter/ sugar syrup/hardened chocolate etc from pans/ mixing bowls. :))

Today's my only day off baking class (yes, I have class on Sun too...) and it so happens that I will end up learning how to cook black pepper crab/ red ruby as part of a short cooking class treat from D :P Have never spent so much time in a 'kitchen' ever!

If you're interested to take a look at my baked goods for the week, you can check out my other blog here :)

I suddenly find myself thrown into baking boot camp! Class overran today (10am to 8pm instead of ending at the official 6pm) and my afternoon after lunch was spent non-stop making cakes. It feels somewhat overwhelming but i suppose it gives me a realistic picture of a baker's life! I am pretty exhausted just after one day and wonder if I will remain so passionate about baking after this :P

Below: My Mickey Mouse and Hello Kitty cake "orders" as part of the day's imaginary cake "orders"- the cartoons are made from scratch (piped using pre-printed stencils as reference) using milk/ white chocolate

Come tomorrow, I will commence an intensive 14-day professional full-time baking course with Creative Culinaire. I signed up for this after much deliberation in January - since it was pretty costly and because I was wondering if it was really necessary for me to know all the things taught in this class. After the class, you're supposed to be able to know baking well enough to come up with your own recipes and be confident enough to start your own bakery. Seems like quite a feat in just 14 days - but the chef claims that we will be more than empowered by the end of the class. During the 2-day prep class this Thurs/ Fri just past, she proudly shared that several of her past students have gone on to set up their own shops etc.

For now, my objective is quite simple though - to just learn how to bake better, via understanding the science behind baking, so that I can troubleshoot my own baking failures in future. In an increasingly saturated F&B (bakeries included) marketplace, I don't think I want to put myself through all the stress and headache of setting up and running a physical bakery or cafe. At least not for the time being! I hope I survive the trials of standing most of the day and washing up (everyday for 6 days a week). The chef also joked that she might ask participants to come in in the middle of the night to bake/ occasionally turn off the aircon to simulate real-life conditions. If I remain/ become more passionate about baking after this course, I guess then there is a glimmer of hope for grander dreams heh. Wish me luck!

On a related note - I finally made and blogged about my birthday cake project here :)

I don't think I am ever going to my neighbourhood GP (under Healthway Medical) again unless it's like a life-threatening emergency. After discovering some traces of blood in phlegm (as I had a sore throat) yesterday morning, was slightly freaked out and thus walked across to see the doc though I knew they were not cheap. But having to pay $64.20 for some antibiotics, lozenges and phlegm medicine is just crazy - after consultation, I was pretty sure I wasn't even very sick.

D & I think that they intentionally dispense ATAS-looking drugs (ie. come in premium-looking boxes, with thicker packaging etc) perhaps to somewhat justify the higher fees. Worse still - the antibiotics was not even good and I half suspect it was the culprit for my stomach pain later in afternoon.

Lesson of day for self - Don't fall sick, especially when you are poor and car-less! :P

Today I turned 30 blissfully :)

Though I still have a long way to go in terms of -

a. figuring out my purpose/ calling in life
b. becoming (and remaining) optimistic, determined, focused, confident

and such...

I should also remind myself of and celebrate the countless blessings I've received in the past 3 decades of existence, such as -

a. having selfless, doting, caring parents and a nice sis
b. making wonderful friends along the way and managing to remain in touch with most
c. meeting D and getting married (seriously I was doubtful 5 years ago if I would ever marry)
d. and all the opportunities and other blessings in life I have received because of a, b and c and G.

and I guess many other cool things, but which my forgetful little mind fails to recall

On a more frivolous note - quite a few people asked me if I made my own birthday cake? To be honest I did think about making myself a most lovely 30th birthday cake - in girly pastel colours, with nice romantic ruffles/ rustic-look and all. And it would be the NICEST cake I've made so far. But in the end I couldn't bear washing loads of pans/ plates etc on my birthday/ birthday eve, and so the making of an elegant grand cake was shelved. But lucky me - D still got me a lovely little white chocolate yuzu cake for the occasion.

As for THE birthday cake- maybe I'd still try to do it tomorrow - when I am one day into being 30, and a little bit closer to the determined self I hope I will become :)

We caught Upside Down this afternoon - starring Kirsten Dunst and Jim Sturgess. Btw critics seem to think this is one of the better films Kirsten Dunst has done since her Spiderman days; but I think she doesn't do very much in the show either aside from looking pretty. Her co-star on the other hand has a meatier role and gets more fun/action with his part while looking quite cute :P Though the ending was slightly abrupt/ not very satisfactory, I still liked the show - and the gravity/ anti-gravity concept gave the movie an interesting (and at times humorous) twist.

The backdrop for Upside Down is a world (or two worlds) divided by wealth (and gravity). And it's becoming pretty clear to myself that I am somewhat drawn to movies that explore this rich-world-oppresses-poor dynamic. Recent films I've caught and like, which similarly explore this theme include In Time and The Hunger Games. I suppose deep down inside me the issue of rising social inequality bugs me a bit - and so I like watching shows that make me reflect/ think a bit more about the issue. Though admittedly I haven't quite stepped out of my comfort zone to do anything very much for the needier/ poor... :(

Anyways, here's the trailer! It's still showing in theaters here, if you want to catch it :)

A useful reminder/quote spotted in the pages of a book at the kikki.K store at ION Orchard - though probably not always true :)

A belated Valentine's! I never really had this day off since starting work - but this year, I had the luxury of spending Valentine's with all my favourite people! But ended up overeating :(

It's my mum's birthday - and so after making slightly cheesy heart-shaped fried eggs for breakfast I spent the rest of the morning baking her a tiny chocolate layered cake. Treated parents to high tea after the mini surprise birthday celebration at home; and ended up having cake before, during and after high tea on Valentine's...

Cute love-themed items part of our afternoon tea set :)

After the high tea outing, I came home to a surprise home-cooked meal by D! And since D now works near Ann Siang Hill, he also brought home my favorite mont blanc from KKi! I really shouldn't have eaten any more cake after the indulgent afternoon tea, but it was too difficult to resist treats from KKi... 

The CNY break brought some girl friends home, and we were able to chill out at one another's homes the past week - starting with crepe-making at J's place on the afternoon of CNY Eve and mini chamomile tea cakes at my place this afternoon :)

It's a good change to have friends to bake with - without J and S's creative inputs I would just have done a very purist flower decor for all my chamomile cupcakes :) Instead, we ended up with a 3D mouthless cat; a blueberry studded cupcake; a tic tac toe board, a chick-and-egg pair, among other design variations ;)

After much procrastination and missing the chance to free-ride (when parents and in-laws got it done) I finally dragged myself down to join the bank queue for new bank notes for Chinese New Year angbaos. it's my first time fulfilling my married grown-up duties, and definitely not the last. I should just have gone earlier, because even at 3pm on a weekday, I ended up waiting 45 min for my turn.

Interestingly, there's now such a thing as 'good-as-new' $2 notes, but it seemed rather unpopular with several of the aunties behind me in the queue. When told that there were no brand new $2 notes, all of them decided to only change $10 notes. Seems like for some people (for whatever reason) having a stack of new notes in running serial number order matters. I later also found out through an OCBC info-ad on one of their LED panels that good-as-new notes are apparently more environmentally friendly, since printing so many new notes apparently wastes quite a bit of energy. And probably incurs quite a bit of cost too, though that wasn't highlighted. When it came to my turn, since the good-as-new $2 notes looked relatively new, I happily got those. Can't be bothered to join another 45 min queue to get BRAND NEW but not so environmentally-friendly $2 notes :P

If all goes well, I might get a regular stint with the St Andrew's Autism Centre as a 'baking volunteer' organising baking sessions for the young adult Autistic clients. The first session will be held this Fri - but if my three weeks of volunteer experience at the Tues clay workshops can be relied upon as gauge of client interest, am not particularly hopeful the clients will be very interested in this. Nonetheless, since this will be with another group of clients + they get to eat what they make in class I hope that I will be proved wrong and they will grow to enjoy baking!

On a separate note - D always comments how I frequently get packages through the mail. They are either books or clothes I buy online (which are usually cheaper than what I can get in the stores/ or not available otherwise). With the books - I occasionally get pleasant surprises. Bookdepository.com offers free worldwide shipping (partly why I buy from them) but they usually take so long to ship that by the time to book arrives I'd have forgotten what book I got some 3 weeks ago. And so today's surprise came in the form of tiny beautiful things - which arrived just after I finished Hector And The Search For Happiness, an easy-to-read and relatively enlightening book with little nuggets of wisdom on finding happiness.

Hope this will be another light but thought-provoking read for the weeks ahead. Something for me to turn to when I need a break from doing up my CV...

I've gone nuts over strawberries this week - baking strawberry cupcakes and another strawberry ruffle cake consecutively this Tues and Wed. It makes me really happy whenever something new turns out well; and I'd have all sorts of ideas about selling them. Seems like I may actually be getting somewhere, as 3 little orders have come in the past week or two - and these were orders for the more recent creations. There is rather little to be earned from making these cakes though - and so for now it still seems like a pretty wise decision to go look for a job soon :)

I've also made some progress with my volunteering - the Children's Society volunteer role was no longer available by the time I went down for an observation session on Monday, but there seems to be another more suitable opening for me elsewhere. My first session with some Autistic youths at the St Andrews Autism Centre (it was a clay-molding workshop) went quite well; and I will probably continue to volunteer again next week. I seem to be quite drawn to the world of autism; perhaps because I am mildly "autistic" at heart - OK to be doing my own thing; and once upon a time, having to socialise and talk to people was a huge disincentive. :P

I've been debating whether to commit to a longer-term volunteer role with the Children's Society; or with any VWO types for that matter. While I always think that I want to help people, my efforts are frequently half-hearted, ad hoc and a bit "三分钟热度". Long-term commitment seems to be an issue for me and so I don't recall having volunteered at the same place for more than a month? (except the one time I volunteered for several months with the Oakland Children's Hospital autism intervention program). This often also means that I don't really stay long enough to make much of a difference to whoever I was hoping to help.

Coincidentally - as I was pondering more deeply about underlying reasons for my lack of commitment, D shared his PS' recent observation of good-hearted Singaporeans who lack stamina in volunteering  - with most just volunteering once-off, or for ad-hoc events. So perhaps I should feel less guilty in that 'poor stamina' in volunteering isn't all that uncommon. But then again, comparing yourself to people who are 'worse off' or just like you is typically but a self-consoling/ feel-good strategy. So maybe this is really something I ought to work on in the new year :P

I wonder if it's coincidental that various wise words about giving also recently popped up, both secular and non-secular. Maybe it's really time for me to try to step out of my comfort zone and be more serious about giving.

"You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give" - Winston Churchill 

"Do not withhold good from those who need it, when you have the ability to help. Do not say to your neighbour, 'Go! Return tomorrow and I will give it,' when you have it with you at the time" - Proverbs 3:27-28

I had a pretty good start to the year - managed to catch up with a few old friends over brunch/ lunch/ dinner/ whatsapp the past week; successfully baked two blueberry-themed cakes (I've blogged about one of them here); checked out some possible volunteer opportunities and made a sensible decision to perhaps start looking out for and hopefully secure a suitable job in the next couple of months. I also restarted yoga lessons with my neighbourhood instructor this morning, and with 2 pairs of new running shoes - hope to be disciplined enough to exercise more the rest of the year.

I also decided to give myself a new hairstyle, and I can't decide if I should laugh or cry at myself now. I now have a very short fringe - which is a fine line between high-fashion chic and looking like what I used to look like in Sec One. Given how little time I typically devote to styling my hair, I am afraid it will soon deteriorate to look like the latter...

Anyways. It's one-hour to a girly gathering at my place tonight, where I'd get to taste J's home-made banana walnut froyo and get some feedback on my dark chocolate sunken souffle cake... :)

A belated but happy 2013 to all!