been into so much contact with christianity- films, ppl recnetly that i really dunno what i should make of everything that is put before me. was gonna go into the library to hibernate and start studying for my poli sci midterm, when 2 ppl approached me just at the entrance and requested to talk to me.... and they started on how i should receive the lord, that i am a sinner and since birth i have been sinning.... and for about half an hour i just stood there listening to them.... i'm not trying to be cynical, but i sometimes find it chilling how many christians seem so mesmerized and unsuspecting of what they believe in..... i jsut find it difficult to believe in something that i dun even know exists.... they told me that i should give it a try... what if it's real? but i just cannot bring myself to do things based on this 'what if' premise..... in this aspect at least. i can imagine what if i get into a car crash and so i buy insurance. i can imagine what if i fall sick.... so i try to not eat unhealthy food or too much throat-irritating things all at one go..... perhaps it's because these things that i think might happen i can actually imagine them happening. but what if "God" is real i just cannot seem to fathom... wonder if there's faulty logic there?

it was definitely comforting and heartwarming to have friends remember your birthday and take so much effort to celebrate it for you.... and i definitely got a pleasant surprise (though it would be more of a surprise had 'random' ppl not dropped me hints) with a yummy irish cream cheesecake, an enjoyable dinner at an Italian restaurant, a bouquet of flowers from my usually self-declared cheapo housemate, cards, prezs and well wishes from my friends, what else can i ask for? not forgetting ppl who weren't by my side, who made the effort to drop me calls... =) but my pessimistic and worrisome self never fails to inject some negative thoughts into me, as i actually thought, what hav i done to deserve all if any of this.... and then upon conveying such thoughts to a friend, i got lightly reproached for harbouring such thoughts at all... and they were 'termed' annoying.... yes, i should prob stop being so paranoid!!
spending all night out on thursday made me oversleep and as such i had to study in a flurry for my jap word quiz on friday morning... haha hope i dun do too badly.. but if i do, i have the consolation that it was 'all for a good cause'.....

then on friday i really enjoyed the night, just baking cooked chicken pieces and fishsticks from albertsons.... i also cooked my caramelized chicken wings again.... but got a comment that it prob wil taste better with unagi.. haha. and had the luxury of eating tang yuans... but got myself so stuffed with food that i prob gained a few pounds that night. eating and watching some spelling bee competition on tv and just hanging out with frens on a friday night with no worries about deadlines or midterms whatsoever was just so pleasant. and we drove up to lawrence lab to look at berkeley/ bay area and the bright lights at night.... it was really nice. though cold.... and the usually high-tolerance-cold-me chickend out and sat in the car half the time.... and i love driving at night! when there are no cars esp.... sigh i still need to improve my lane change skills...

am working on my r and c paper now.... and i hav to work really really hard for my poli sci midterm next week.... no time! still hav to go to sch later to complete my data entry work for the week.... hopefully i wil hav time to come back in time to catch a lil bit of oscars... =)