finals finally over!!!! but now am in a mad rush to pack up stuff in room and move house tmr morning.... and will prob not be writing entries in the next few days since i wun have internet at my new place yet....so to all the dear ppl who visit regularly to take a peek into my life, take care.. i'll be back. =)

am once again at moffitt library but this time trying to study in front of the computer terminal and nodding off.. so i've decided to give up. productivity rate of zero all day... came to library at ten pm but ended up emailing person about bed and talking online and asking jing what i should do when i go visit her... i'm getting increasingly distracted by thoughts of moving out and getting my furniture.... hopefully not at the expense of my finals... one left!!!
got the shock of my life yest morning when my econ results were posted.. while hoping for the best i pressed the show current term grades button and somehow i got an A for my econ in the end!!! till now i am not really convinced that I got an A, suspect that they probably gave me someone else's score.. but oh well.. i guess at least i dun have to worry about getting a bad grade anymore. =)
went to ikea this afternoon after my IAS finals.. to look at beds and furniture; suddenly struck by the fact that bed frames are nice but costly... so decided to look on craigslist instead and hopefully the bed i'm gonna look at tmr is nice. also went to look at a $40 Scandinavian design couch with shiyun and ziyang just now and i feel a little bad, cos they seemed to think it was ok but i was the fussy one and i didn't quite like it. oh no. i really hope we can either find a nice and reasonably priced one that all of us like or a new one that's pretty cheap... it reminds me of what my mum always likes to tell me.. that i am too picky and tha'ts why she never dares to buy clothes for me cos she knows that if i dun like it, i most probably would not wear it...i'ts always particularly dilemma-ish cos it's really sweet when she bothers to buy stuff for me and it would be hurtful to not appreciate her efforts... but then over the years she has grown to acknowledge my pickiness and thus this never really happesn anymore =) sigh. i'm such a troublesome person.

decided to get something nice for my roommates before i leave.. so i bought two cute beanies for my roommates yest... gave laura a lil pig and lilian a lil horse.. plus the marc chagall postcards i got from the metropolitan art museum in new york. so gave lilian her prez last night and i think poor laura was at the library all night studying for her chem 1A so she only came back at 730am this morning... and when she woke up this morning she told me that when she read my note and saw my lil present this morning she felt so touched she wanted to cry... though i only gave her a smile and didn't really say anything i felt really happy deep in my heart.. that she liked it.
i think i'm a little crazy sometimes, but when people appreciate what u do for them, it just gives u a sense of satisfaction and secret joy...

sometimes people do things for u but not explicitly.. but sometimes u can tell.. and i think i will feel really nice.. that there are such sweet people around... and like sometimes i feel that my dad can be really sweet... like i know he loves me but he just doesn't say it. and of course i dun show that i know... which makes me feel guilty sometimes for taking him for granted... the 'han xu' culture i have been brought up in is sometimes somewhat baffling. utility minimization. haha but then again sometiems i think i am too sensitive, so perhaps sometimes people dun really mean it but i hu si luan xiang. then xiang and xiang and then start to think about bad things and get pessimistic then get upset for no reason...

hmmm... 'sometimes' seems to be my favorite word of the day.....

was somewhat hurt by karras' reply to my email asking him some questions about IAS... he specifically replied "This is exactly the kind of e-mail that I will not respond to..." cos according to him, it will take him much more time to reply than the time i took to type out all my questions, and in the first place, i should hav asked all of them during his office hours earlier this sem. this is the first time that i got such a 'hostile' reply from a professor! oh well... so be it. though must say really felt like i was being scolded for my lack of interest in the course and lack of initiative to look for him before this.... felt so yuan wang... but i should have guessed, since he is the very opinionated and matter-of-fact type of guy..sigh. fear for my IAS exam...

yay! ziyang managed to get our dining table cum chairs from cheston for $40! haha but the rest of my room furniture is nowhere in sight. may have to end up sleeping on the floor the first few nights... excited about getting new furniture.. but then i realized that my room actually isn't alll that 'conducive' for placing furniture.. cos it happens that i have 3 doors, if u count the entrance, the bathroom door and the wardrobe door.. plus the whole panel of windows.. so there isn't exactly much wall space left... hmm. shall try to figure that out on saturday..

*thoughts on roommates*
have recently been thinking about the parting from my roommates as this semester draws to an end. sometiems i can't help but wonder if I will feel sad, cos after all i have been living with them for almost a year, and though my relationship with them is far from intimate, their presence seems to have been something i have grown to take for granted... i'm suspect that I wun miss them the way I would miss my old and close frens, but i believe that i will definitely look back at my dorm stay with fond memories... such as the nicknames my roommates have 'bestowed' upon me...
1) the room apothecary, for supplying po chai pills to Laura when she fell sick and a variety of lozenges and pills i brought over from Singapore- now both Laura and Lilian acknowledge my po chai pills as the powerful and effective but gross-tasting tiny chinese pills.. =P
2) the acrobat, for my seemingly incredible feat every night, of climbing onto my bunk bed directly from my table, as a result of my laziness to use the ladder at the side of my bed

aside from nicknames, they seem to have accummulated some false beliefs about me, which i have not really attempted to correct, since they are somewhat amusing...
1) that i dun need to sleep, since i sleep at unearthly hours almost every night
2) that i am ultra smart and maintain a 4.0 GPA without much effort and without studying, which happens to be totally false and in this case, i have sought to defend myself against such a claim but not to much success.. oh well, guess it doens't harm for people to think that u are smarter than u really are?
3) that Singapore specializes in selling tiny items, due to the fact that i possess some really cute stuff, and hav an ultra small digicam...
guess have to admit that my lack of knowledge and intimacy with my roommates is also due to my own passiveness and not taking the initiative to get to know them better, like i have only hung out with them like once, when on one fri night they decided to go on an outing witih some floormates to the rainforest cafe in SF and i went along with them.. however being the usual me, i guess i spoke less than 30 sentences throughout the whole trip.. also aggravated by the fact that i didn't really know what to say, since i dun tell them things and vice versa....
but the occasional efforts by my roommates to talk to me do make me happy... cos deep in my heart, i feel warm that i perhaps do occupy a little but insignificant spot in their hearts, that they will always remember the exotic and quiet roommate they had from Singapore in their freshman year...
guess it always takes the initiative of both parties for a relationship to really blossom.... and i somewhat regret that i have not exactly tried harder to get to know them better, but i must say that i have tried. my heart aches a little, as my roommates are really nice and decent people, yet i know that my relationship with them would probably not progress any further...