I'm aware of my negative 'outbursts' about work; and when I'm not in the why-is-my-world-so-bleak mood, I do try to remind myself that there's so much more to life than work :P I suppose it really isn't that bad at times, but somehow when I get stressed/upset I just blow everything up. Oh well. Find that watching TV and reading books/mags help me to wind down/relax. And I recently subscribed to NHK premium, in a bid to be more hardworking during my last leg of JLPT 2 preparation. Actually, I got it intending to use it as a substitute for studying. Though I always plan to study Jap few days a week after work, it has NEVER worked... and cos exam is coming up real soon, better buck up and devise backup plan... which is to watch Japanese TV :) Though without any subtitles the Japanese spoken on TV can be just jibberish chatter at times, am still heartened that I manage to pick up bits here and there. And feel that watching 'authentic' Japanese channels offers a good insight into Japanese culture. Just watched this Japanese talk show, with guests debating over various issues on Japan's agricultural sector, whether participants were for imposing tarriffs on imported rice etc etc. From college students to 60-year-old farmers, all invited guests got to voice his/her opinion on various questions asked... There was even a real-time phone-in vote for audience to participate in debate! At one point guests also got the chance to taste rice from diff countries and guess their origin...Even though they have some really crazy game shows, the Japanese can be a pretty intellectual lot too :)

Had a major mood swing today; went to work quite motivated, with intention to be efficient and productive. However by end of the day, esp on the long MRT trip home, spirits dipped rapidly for no good reason and felt quite upset with myself in general. like life is so mundane... hai, dunno. Actually on my daily morning MRT ride I always wonder about the lives behind those tired faces, those dozing off heads... what drives them in life? Necessity? Having/wanting to provide for their families? Passion for their jobs? (quite rare i suppose eh) why then do so many ppl subject themselves to doing things they dun like? Why do I too consent to doing things I dun find palatable? Because I have to? Why do I have to? Hai, maybe I should just turn in... and continue my zombie routine at 7am tmr.......

This evening I went for my first netball training session with my dept ppl... I miss netball! Haven't played since sec sch i think. Though it was super super tiring (I dun have stamina... or to console myself, I played at the end of a busy work day haha) I had fun. Just that I've forgotten all the rules; and kept illegally entering courts I wasn't supposed to step into. Also didn't play very strategically and ran everywhere haphazardly. Aiyah maybe I too enthu lah then never mark my own opponent hee. Didn't help that we were playing against a super zai team.. so by half time I really bu4 xing2 le... Inter-dept tournament is about 2 weeks away... nmind lah anyhow whack :) Good thing was I realised that my new running shoes are superbly comfy so it was money well spent. Sigh, thought cos I exercise regularly I'm quite fit; apparently not!

Am also growing VERY busy at work. Was arrowed to be in some new committee just last fri; and all the work started pouring in immediately on Monday. Am "supporting staff" for unit head, who is Secretariat of new committee. Am officially doing a lot of chapalang secretarial stuff; and feel like perhaps at the end of these various secretarial-like terms I'd become good enough to earn my keep as secretary-of-sorts; but ok lah; I actually feel like by sitting in meetings etc I'm also learning new interesting things :)

Have been wanting to buy a new pair of running shoes for quite long, so decided to do something about it today and bused to Queensway shopping centre after Jap class. Dunno why running shoes these days all quite ugly, but finally a New Balance pair caught my eye :P Sigh, another little hole in pocket, but can console myself that it wun be too frequent an expense. Thereafter bused to another MRT station to get home. Unfamiliar sights on both bus trips made me realise how untravelled I am in Sg... With no car, unadventurous parents who frequently only drive to the same old places & limited social life, find myself quite confined to places accessible via MRT :P Unless once in a blue moon nice friends with cars accede to my requests to bring me places :) Hai, maybe I should egg Dad on to go and get car with autogear....