i have been trying to pack but not much progress thus far. i just somehow cannot organize which task to do first. what to pack into boxes. whether to throw away some things or not. whether to sell certain books or not. have to make all these many trivial decisions and it's getting me somewhat bothered. coupled with other things on my mind.... feelings that i have to sort out. pre-arrival readings to do. worrying about what to bring and what not. sometimes i really wish i weren't moving anywhere. but such inertia would get me nowhere and i think this program should do me good. sigh. why can't i be more shuang3 kuai4. forget easily and adapt easily. dun think so much about every single thing. but i just can't... in a way my room is like my life... there seems to be random things everywhere distracting me. and broken ends here and there. not much order. i dun seem to be able to really 'tie' everything together... i have goals in life, but i dun even know if i am really working towards them... like this lost girl in the middle of an ocean... trying to swim in all directions not knowing where the shore really is. and giving up quickly after each time and trying another direction. actually i will probably eventually drown cos i can't even swim half a lap in a normal swimming pool.