The good old pavilion

if a tourist only visits the Botanical Gardens while in Singapore, he/she might actually be misleaded into thinking that Singapore had a Caucasian population of around 30-40%... least from what i saw today. i suppose that's also largely due to the location of the gardens... it's been ages since i last visited, but it's really a pretty pleasant place to jog, take nice long walks or walk your dog :P

much as i feel that i am fine with doing everything alone, little sweet gestures and little incidents also remind me that one's experiences also become less memorable and meaningful if one does not have close ones with whom he/she can share both joys and woes.

another rail-related entry... but this time it's the LRT :P

though i risk sounding like a super suaku Singaporean, but today marks my inaugural ride on the LRT! haha, well yeah, it's nothing as spectacular as the railway that has been grabbing headlines everywhere of late, but still a small wonder on its own. least it gave me a very pleasant short ride today... it seems like a very efficient and versatile of transporting ppl 'deeper' into HDB estates. reminded me a little of the MUNI actually, with its upward/downward sloping tracks at certain points. of course, i am totally unaware of possible cost/schedule issues that regular commuters might have been/be concerned about.... :)

and so the world's highest Qinghai-Tibet railway opens today (Sat). i think CCTV has been covering the 'historic event' rather extensively.... this morning while dad was watching special mini documentary of railway... i stopped in front of the TV and casually remarked that i wanted to go, only to be instantly, mildly 'rebuked' for wanting to travel everywhere (it has actually been one of my frivolous fantasy destinations for a while... you know, places you dream about visiting some day but don't know if you ever will) THEN, at night, Dad was watching coverage on the railway again. this time round, he encouraged me to watch the program and told me that "the scenery on TV was breathtaking, even better and clearer than if you were to go on your own".... sigh. a not-so-subtle hint there.... :P actually....a 48-hour train ride (Beijing to Lhasa) doesn't sound that appealing though! but that's if you do a non-stop thing. there's a lot of controversy about the railway in the papers, one fear being that easier access might dilute the unique Tibetan culture... though i have no idea how "culturally intact" Tibet is right now, i certainly hope that it wun be too 'culturally diluted' as feared, in the years to come...

touring is such a dilemma sometimes- i quite dislike over-touristy places; yet sometimes only when a place becomes touristy is it easier for ppl to visit... :( and perhaps i'm being hypocritical -- i too contribute to the touristification of these places...

Clarke Quay at night

managed to capture this while walking along the river yesterday night... too bad hands were still a little shaky :P

resolve to break out of vicious cycle of going to the same eating places all the time brought me to the newly renovated (perhaps by my standards, since the last time i went there was prob few years ago) hawker center at East Coast Park... and a delicious (but oil-drenched) spread of satay, sambal sting ray, roti john, fried hokkien mee etc. (things i haven't had for ages!) left me extremely satisfied with dinner. though couldn't help feeling worried that a single meal probably just wrecked my plans to keep trim and fit :P maybe... and hopefully.... work will stress me out and whet my appetite in 2 weeks' time!

recent events have also made me somehow very aware that change takes time, and serious action. and commitment. it might be a silly and duh thing to say, but i dunno, i feel like i always yearn (sometimes unrealistically) for these desired outcomes/perfect scenarios without devising practical steps to bring myself closer to these lofty goals...

was clearing away another pile of old cards/notes and noticed two most common things that ppl said to me- 1) that i was 'nice' and 2) that i had 'nice' handwriting; and a few even apologized to me for writing messily in the greeting cards! (i was very amused but a little upset). these made me think about what i used to be like-- for one, it was quite true that i had EXTREMELY neat handwriting back then. sometimes when i look back at my secondary sch notes i wonder how i managed to produce those almost evenly-spaced, font-like characters... my handwriting is nowhere near that kinda 'perfect neatness'; but somehow i quite like it the way it is now :) as for the 'niceness' bit... i wonder if a shy, smiley, quiet and agreeable me gave ppl the impression that i was 'nice'... because a lot of these friends i really didn't know that well! and talking about being shy, one letter my primary sch friend wrote me made me a little horrified, but highly inquisitive as to what happened back then. apparently, she wrote something like "i noticed that you were shy and uninterested at my birthday party. i would like an explanation from you" (in my head, i was thinking and laughing to myself... what on earth did i do! :P) regretfully, some of these interesting people you want to contact, you have no idea where/what they are doing right now... on hindsight, (and after reading through some old pieces of lil notes) there are also some individuals you wished you got to know better. clearing old stuff might be REALLY tedious, but it does bring back some good old memories... :) and i hope that maybe ten years from now, when i pull out some old emails (ah... times have changed) to read, i will find that people dun just remember me for being just another quiet girl... for that to happen, i have a long way to go! but a goal worth working for :)

"dessert overload"

shared the above espresso chocolate cake, a delicious brownie with friends at Far East Square; and had a generous free scoop of gelato (milk tea flavor!) at just-opened Japanese Gelato place Haato at Wheelock place, all in one afternoon! help! btw, it appears that gelato places can be found in every other corner in town now. a day out zipping in and out of food courts also alerted me to the tissue-choping phenomenon that i somehow never noticed previously...

shoe-hunting has officially begun for me, though i've had little luck the past few days. things that catch my eye also happen to be highly unsuitable, since they are potentially life-threatening for a sneakers-wearer like me. perhaps will have to wait till i become a more seasoned high-heels 'wearer' before attempting those treacherously high heels... alas! why are prettier designs also more unwearable/uncomfortable?! sigh. perhaps should also pity feet and take into consideration pain and potential damage high heels can do to poor feet.

soft shell crab trivia (you probably didn't want to know)

if you're ignorant like me, you probably thought the soft-shell crab was some special species that happened to have soft shells :P well, now that i think about it... it's kinda illogical if shells were meant to be protective huh... and if such crabs really did exist they prob would have been such easy preys that we wun even see them today? and so after i wikipediaed for soft shell crab 15 min ago after an interesting soft shell crab meal this afternoon, i realized that they are crabs that get cooked in the vulnerable few days after they molt their hard shells and before a new one is rebuilt! was rather dismayed upon discovering that's how they came about... sigh, i have to admit that i really like soft shell crabs... but now i'll feel guilty whenever i feel a craving and order some... i'll always be reminded of the devious tactics we humans can resort to in creating delicacies :( some things you rather you didn't know..... oh, and why i wikipediaed soft shell crabs today was cos being adventurous, i ordered a soft shell crab burger at this cafe in Changi today... and i was literally served a deep-fried-bread-crusted soft shell crab in a burger... (novelty soon disappeared; as soon as i realized that there are things in the main body i can eat, since shell is soft, but which i probably WUN want to) i dunno, i'm so used to seeing a 'disembodied' (i mean without the main body+shell) soft shell crabs in sushi that i forget these are full-bodied creatures, too. same goes for many things we eat, actually.

another 5.30 am entry ;P

rather expectedly, with my moving home after a long 4 years comes some sibling tension...particularly when decision made when you were 10 yrs old to share your personal space continues to dictate the way you're going to live (pretty much) for the next few years, at least... ah. reminds me of my econ 115's path dependency... haha. not that it's a big problem at all, but somehow after having a room to yourself for 3 years makes sharing seem rather deprived :P plus sis is suddenly robbed of having 2 beds and the whole wardrobe to herself... i guess i would feel a little :( if i were her too. and certainly doesn't help that old cupboards/wardrobes and desks are an unfortunate legacy of stupid decisions to hav furniture 'fixated' permanently to the wall! which reduces space management flexibility to nought... but best is still to make do with whatever you have. :)

also rediscovered my 10-yr-old/15-yr-old etc selves when FINALLY clearing out some old stationery/used-to-be-treasures collectibles such as keychains, erasers, bookmarks and such. it was both sad and revealing that i retained little affinity for many things that i used to do! plus all the friendship bands and little funny crafty thingies that i used to make... while on one hand i certainly felt more 'grown-up' but on the other, i wondered if i had turned into this unfeeling creature with little appreciation for cute little pleasures like these... but i figured i perhaps show my appreciation for my friends in different ways now. another sad thing was how i discovered pieces of Chinese creative writing i used to do in RGS... and feeling that my Chinese could never ever return to that kinda level... hai. i guess you gain some and lose some...

it's a pretty unearthly 7am in Singapore now and i have been up for about 2 hours, having yet to adjust to proper sleeping hours here :) visited favorite family hangout place (Tampines Mall...) to activate cell phone and was greeted by ever-teeming-with-life (and FOOD!) basement... with a record number of food places! maximum utlization of space it seems. hmm.

anyway, before work life starts to lock me into some kinda monotonous/busy 8.30-6.30? work schedule, i have decided in the past 2 hours or so to embark on a number of new 'projects' to make sure that i don't lapse into a boring/un-enriching life here :P so... if i actually get down to doing them, i shall 1) attempt to learn how to drive a manual-right-seat-driver car (haha sorry my English is too pok to come up with the proper term) 2) exercise! found quite a few STEP classes online and shall call to ask about them in the next week or so, hopefully 3) explore more food places/learn more about my own country-- have 2 motivations for this! to make sure that i will be an adequate tour guide when my few but dear American friends do come to visit me... hehe and perhaps break out of a my-life-mainly-revolves-around-the-Eastern-part-of-island cycle that has pretty much characterized past 19-22 years of residence... i am also hoping that my job will bring me to diff HDB estates all over the island... :) so that's 3 relative big plans i have for time being in the year ahead... hope they get done!

Blue Riesling bottles and little baskets hung on the wall (occasionally used for delivering muffins and such) frame the kitchen window of the house i stayed at for 3 nights. i guess there really wasn't THAT much to do in Louisiana, but thanks for my very nice hosts, stay was nonetheless very enjoyable. i guess good company can make all the difference :) maybe it's just me, but the places i visited somehow all had a very country, homely feel to them. perhaps some ppl would call it backward, but there's just something about some of these places that's holding me back from blindly labeling them in this way. also, i guess my weird affinity for the cute antiquey-looking fans common to many of these homes/restaurants plays a small part? haha.

and in less than 14 hours i will probably leave Berkeley 'for good'... this afternoon while waiting to have lunch with Jacqui i strolled around downtown Berkeley trying to 'absorb' the atmosphere and feel for one last time what this quirky place feels like... as i type this blog entry from my bed on the last night in my cosy room in Berkeley, i already know that i will miss this place+school... a place that holds some of my fondest memories, a place that made me mature from innocent little girl to less-innocent-more-independent-more-comfortable-in-own-skin big girl, a place where i made some of my dearest friends, a place that made me much more aware of the importance and the power of good education, a place that made me appreciate diversity... oh well. dun hav that kinda flair to put jumbled thoughts into well-articulated prose, but yeah, today i look back at my uninformed decision to apply to Berkeley and fully appreciate the significance of that fortuitous acceptance into this school...

I have been in the company of some really kind Louisiana residents the past 5 days or so. am currently in a small town north of New Orleans, called Mandeville, at a friend's aunt's house. and the commute to downtown/French Quarter in New Orleans involves driving across a 24-mile bridge across Lake Pontchartrain, easily more than twice the size of Singapore! this causeway apparently held the world record for longest bridge in 1969, but has since been surpassed by others, i think. what's the longest bridge in the world? i have no clue... but ya, not that i am unaware of how small sg is, but when you put things in perspective, it kinda reinforces this point :P anyway, one thing that really struck me when i first arrived in Shreveport was how green/tropical foresty the place was.... i guess cos my only comparison is Berkeley, and to a smaller extent, DC... and the other cities up north, it never really occurred to me how much closer to the tropics certain parts of the US were, too. and it's hot down here, and definitely more humid. hehe preparation for heading home next week, i guess.

flying down to Louisiana tmr for a week.... my last holiday before heading home on the 15th :)

various flowers were blooming in my own backyard and couldn't help taking parting pics of some. these, i fell in love with one year ago and they are all over in the backyard.. as well as along our street... on MLK... on campus... these buds actually come enclosed in a huge green 'bud'/pod... and they burst open to become like that... then bloom into elegant pretty purple flowers...
i've also realized how much effort gardening takes! my landlords just spent the whole of yesterday and half of today tidying up their plants... pulling out the weeds... much as i like flowers, i seriously doubt i'll go to that extent to produce a pretty garden myself :P a lazy bum like me instead leeches off pretty flowers in other ppl's gardens :P
was also treated to a farewell dinner by my landlords and can't help but feel a little sentimental that i will be leaving real soon. it has been a great year, living with them... i couldn't have asked for better housemates, really! and the other day when i looked at Kai, he really wasn't as little as he used to be when i first moved in! after all, it's been a year and a little bit more... time flies...

craigslist has become my most frequented website this past week or so; with so much stuff (often in good condition) i need to get rid of, the best solution is to give them away to ppl who actually want it... and good old craigslist has been extremely handy in helping me do that. and somewhat uncannily, almost every item i post has just one or two interested parties... items for sale were sadly a lot less popular, expectedly though. unfortunately, after half a week or so of massive cleanup, room still isn't as bare as i would want it to be :P sigh, come monday, most of remaining items would have to go to the dump... it's actually pretty interesting to see what use ppl have for things that you dun want-- someone picked up my old twin mattress pad and sheets for a foreign exchange student coming in a week; a mother was surprisingly excited upon discovering my bag of random art materials cos apparently her daughter would be real happy to have them; another volunteer was delighted that the wall map he picked up would be real useful for the refugee family he was working with.... it made me happy too that instead of prematurely contributing to land pollution, these items manage to play small roles in bettering ppl's lives... :) hmmm so... perhaps if you want to superficially feel like a good individual... give something useful (but which you no longer need) away!

was given a half-day tour of SF by former classmate who grew up in SF, whose knowledge of buildings and history of the city was pretty amazing. and i took the MUNI for the 2nd time in my entire 4-year stay here... the very first time i took it it was with tonnes of crazily-dressed folks (myself included haha, though i certainly wasn't as creative nor as outrageous as many strangers i encountered... ) to Castro on my first Halloween night and i totally thought it was like the BART and never really bothered to investigate its routes subsequently.... today we went to the more residential and less touristy places in SF... i was actually rather surprised how 'versatile' the MUNI was... how it emerges from underground tunnels, winds uphill and speeds on freeways alongside cars... well. at least i felt like a pseudo-SF resident for a few hours :P
in meantime, am still desperately trying to clear my room.... why do i have so much junk! also savoring my last 2 weeks or so and giving myself excuses to devour unfortunately highly fattening ice-creams, such as the heavenly Dublin mudslide....

this afternoon i resumed status as pedestrian cum bus-passenger... it was a little sad to see my Honda go, but also have to admit it was a heavy load off my chest! and though i got a cashier's check from the buyer, repeated warnings of fraud and reminder of how easily i get cheated by ppl from dad succeeded in making me somewhat nervous that check might not go through... but it did :) tmr my family leaves for Singapore... aside from the daily petty squabbles and some difficulty in adapting to the environment and food, have to say nothing really terrible happened. just have to mentally prepare myself for restricted freedom and some other compromises when i go home.... but will worry about those in 2 weeks' time. unfortunately, i've had SO SO much rich food the past two weeks (esp the past week!!) that waistline has suffered as a result. sigh. have to go on diet when i get home. though i dun forsee myself being too successful, considering how good food will be cheap and extremely accessible. oh well, perhaps when i find that i dun fit into the usual sizes when shopping for working clothes, vanity will motivate me hehe.

tomorrow afternoon i part with my dear Honda-- we've had the most unusual 'relationship'... i'm neither rich nor skilled, yet i drive a nice Honda Accord EX Coupe with a powerful V6 engine... of course it isn't super luxurious, but luxurious enough for a poor (ex) student like me who would prob never be able to afford something like that for a long long time after i go home :P it's alright; at least i ceng2 jing1 yong1 you3...
took it for a last long drive this afternoon in the brilliant weather... and though i meant to go to the lighthouse at the Marin Headlands, i stumbled across a mini gem of a beach at the Headlands... the water and waves were so beautiful... (the experience would have been more enjoyable without a certain voice nagging at me to put on my sweater haha) winds were kinda chilly, but weather was great. i'll really miss the combination of warm sun, cool winds and blue cloudless skies... and i've decided that i like the Bay Area the best (out of all the places i've been to in California) perhaps it's also cos i've done the most here; have had many happy moments and memories here...