went to berkeley marina yesterday to watch the july 4 fireworks. it was pretty nice; haven seen fireworks for some time already.... i especially loved the sparkly and twinkly fireworks.. where sparks of bright spots just lingers in the dark sky... so beautiful. caught one heart-shaped one and a few star shaped ones too. but no smiley faced ones though. i drove for about 45 min on the highway yesterday to the vacaville factory outlets and though i wasn't exactly very good on the highway and drifted occasionally i feel somehow proud of myself.. haha. my cheap thrill?

went to ranch 99 just now to get some groceries for the week and had two mini incidents that kinda made my day. was wheeling my cart into the supermarket and i left my economist and my wallet in it.. then was distracted by cantaloupes and somehow when i turned back my cart disappeared and it really freaked me out cos my wallet was in there! but it so turns out that this blur lady actually wheeled the wrong cart and after walking around a little in the supermart i managed to see her waving my wallet in the air looking somehwhat lost.. she apologized profusely to me for having caused the little commotion... and even confided in me how the day before she forgot to take $300 cash from the ATM machine and the guy after her came after her to return her the money... well i'm glad that there are really nice and honest people around still =)
and when i was walking along one of the isles, this little girl sitting in a cart just looked at me so innocently and gave me a really sweet smile... she was really pretty with big shiny eyes that made me melt... hmm that sounds wrong. but anyway she was just so cute and friendly and i can't help but feel a loss... of innocence... like after we grow up we can no longer do whatever we want.... in a way. like ppl would probably think i am mad if i go round smiling at them... kids are so endearing and unscheming and sometimes their candidness and 'non-retention' of any secret emotions make them so lovable...reminds me of once when i went for my krayola meeting and i was talking to one of the kids and i guess i just ate some sandwich and she unabashedly said "u smell like onions".. haha i was a little embarrassed but then amused too....

sometimes i wish i judged myself less. like i often think i dun deserve a lot of things. or am unworthy of things... and i think i'm also alwyas afraid of being judged by others... that they would think something bad of me... haha no wonder i am getting more white hair =P