recently i've actually had a few ppl telling me that i seem happier and a teeny bit more self-confident... and i do think so myself too... it's not that suddenly good things have been happening to me; nor did i suddenly turn smart; pretty or whatever (ha, of course i wish i did, but these really aren't the most impt things in life) but i guess i've gradually changed my mindset... well. i guess there are always things that i wish would happen but never will, things i'm dissatisfied about; but ultimately there's nothing in my life that i should be seriously upset about... so why not just treasure everything i do have. not everyone gets to come to Berkeley for college... not everyone gets chance to make some really good friends in college... guess the list can just go on.
and i'm going to try harder... and hopefully write a good PEIS thesis this sem too... well, my only fellow classmate in H195 seminar has done most of his work and has even collected all his data... and i really do feel threatened cos everything for me is still pretty much up in the air, but instead of sitting at home and fretting at least i'm trying... i borrowed all these books and shall force myself to piece up something decent to talk about next class... and while my UCDC paper really wasn't fantastic, at least it made me read up more about my area of interest last sem..and it helps that i have a lot of time to myself this sem. i'm starting to feel like i can be alone for the most part, but perhaps not lonely. perhaps also good that i wun hav much free time to worry too much either =)