i think i spend so much time mulling over the silliest things when i can be a lot more productive and happy appreciating the last semester i have here... esp given it's the last 'official' chance for some time to come to really learn all there is to learn... the lectures i've sat in thus far are both good and very informative... and i really like them... but haven't been paying full attention. nor have i been conscientiously doing the readings i ought to have been doing... and instead of feeling so upset over the way some things are, i just need to "wake up"...

and some days ago i was also mulling over how i can sometimes be rather isolated, without realizing that it was also at times (actually frequently) self-imposed... and then what position am i really in to complain? and i realized today that i have yet to really learn what it means to be a really good and decent person. hopefully tmr will mark a fresh start.