sometimes i really wonder if my ability to make judgments about issues/encounters becomes severely impaired by my emotional side. today i found myself getting really upset after some comments from a professor regarding my research approach... i'm wondering if i'm now feeling more discouraged than i really ought to because I took things personally too? probably because of the fact that i resolved last week to work hard on thesis and care less about trivial emotional stuff... only to find that even so, 'purely academic' things can make me upset too. And I dunno how i should really assess situation; did professor say what he did because of personal biases? i mean to certain extent what he said was his opinion and i am entitled to my own.... yet you have to concede that professors are probably more well-informed and familiar with their own fields of interest and probably have good reasons for being disapproving of certain things...
i guess one thing that really bothered me though was that I could tell he seemed pretty reluctant to discuss stuff with me (though at least was still pretty professional, but gave rather curt replies; i mean i am not totally insensitive so i kinda got the point...) and i dunno if it was because i was being very bothersome or was it just cos he disliked my research approach? The horrible thing is though is that I do enjoy his lectures (i've just been sitting in cos i'm interested) and for a moment i thought of just not going anymore. but then again, that's rather immature cos seriously I do learn things from his lectures lah; and i would be penalizing myself from learning new and useful things... so i have to be less childish and still go. ok. so long-winded. in short, I just thought he seemed negative about what I had to ask and me being overly sensitive to negative attitudes in other ppl got (unnecessarily?) upset...
what did i learn? 1) perhaps self-regulate and get less upset when other ppl dun seem to hold very positive views of me/what I want to do 2) try not to be discouraged, cos maybe i can prove that my way isn't that bad after all? 3) be more accepting of different POVs.... you know, I acknowledge at the back of my mind that diversity of opinions can be good. yet i can get unwittingly upset when ppl disagree... i think i tend to take disagreement too personally sometimes. how to change that... i dunno. slowly i guess.
3 comments:
(1) Being emotional isn't always bad you know. It allows you to enjoy the great things in life more, I think, and have good relationships. But too much is not good either. As long as you are already trying to keep the emotion out of your decisions, it's a good start.
(2) I've had a tutor give me excellent and helpful criticism - but in the most horrible way. He was sarcastic and cutting and I got VERY upset (but perhaps more annoyed at him than emotional). What happened in the end? I worked so hard for that paper that it was my top scoring paper in the exams. What is more, I applied his criticism across ALL my papers, and I'm certain that they benefited as a result.
(3) Yes I remember watching '10 Things I Hate About You' in GP class now that you remind me! Do give 'Say Anything...' a shot, check it up on imdb.com - great reviews. If you don't, I will MAKE you watch it at some point when we are both back!
1) yes am trying to keep emotion out... not very successful yet, but feel like i'm starting to get somewhere =)
2) hmm i dun think professor was sarcastic in my case; he just seemed REALLY doubtful and wasn't afraid to show it... as in didn't think there was a need to hide it. but oh well, i'm just going to try my best doing what i think is appropriate for my own research anyways.
3) haha sure. i dun think i've watched anything with you for a LONG time. when will you be back?
Hi Miss Min,
My mean tutor anecdote was just to illustrate the fact that we must look past the mode of delivery and concentrate on the message instead... I think most professors' opinions are worth considering.
Hehe. I'll be back in September - argh, the start of working life!
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