down but not out

after a pretty gruelling session this evening, i half felt like my world was falling apart and that my next 4 weeks would be pure hell. but at the same time, i also felt like i probably can't find a better bunch of classmates (and prof) anywhere else. i feel like there's so much i can learn from other ppl... at this point in time, i feel sorry for having made all these inaccurate preliminary judgements about my classmates. on the contrary, they are probably some of the smartest and worldly ppl i've come across. and i dunno why this is the case, but i feel so slow-witted in comparison. like SERIOUSLY. i wonder if it's just me, or if it's cos i still can't break away from the way of learning that i was brought up on, or if my character has something to do with it.... and i should be totally ashamed to confess this, but it was probably only about 4 hours ago that it finally dawned on me what it really takes to write a good, proper thesis. and if tragedy really befalls mine, i can at least console myself that there were all these other things that i took away from the class...but of course i hope i can avert that tragedy. and it's really up to me how i want it to turn out eventually. but right now, i'm so exhausted and brain dead that i need to conk out soon.
(this was written last night but server was down and so i couldn't publish it then)